Goodbye, I-Ti

Tonight, my helper Marilou will be returning home for good, after 3 years with our family. I'm really going to miss her. I wanted her to stay longer and she wanted to stay too, but circumstances are such that she has to go home. I still wish that it didn't have to be this way, but I have come to accept that it is in God's plan. Indeed, when I think about how wonderfully everything has come together over the past few weeks, I know that God is in control, and this gives me great comfort. I will share more on this when the time is right.

Marilou is our first helper, and I remember all our uncertainties when she first came, shortly after Noey was born. I got live-in help at my Mum's urging, but at that time I wasn't sure it was the best idea. I had no idea how to manage someone else in my house, and together with a new baby, it was just all too stressful. I remember thinking at that time that it felt like more work having help than going without! But I always appreciated that she had a good attitude and was willing to take instructions. It was mainly communication issues in the beginning, but these were eventually sorted out as we got used to each other.

Fast forward to today, I know for sure that things in the house are better with her around. She's not perfect -- no one is -- but the most important thing to me is that she loves my children, and for that reason, I trust her with them. She keeps them bathed, fed, and napped and on their schedules whenever I'm not at home, and we tag-team well on the kids on the days I am. I appreciate this all the more when I hear all the helper-woes that friends and my Mum suffer through.

The weeks ahead are going to be challenging. Meips in particular is going to have a hard time adjusting when she leaves, especially when Aunty M carries her so much. I don't know if Noey grasps the concept that Aunty M (or I-Ti, as he used to call her when he was younger) is not going to be around anymore. He took it quite well when she went home on home leave, but he was thrilled when she came back. This time round she's not coming back. Thankfully he's thus far been quite alright with my new helper, who, by God's grace, was able to come in earlier than expected so there has been a bit of a handover going on at least. Only time will tell.

I don't know what lies ahead for Marilou or for us. Who knows, she might return to Singapore to work in future. My sister is certainly hoping she would come and help her when she starts a family. But in the meantime, I can only wish her the very best. Like I said, I'm going to miss her. And I know the children will too.