Me, the SAHM

I looked at the date a couple of days ago and realised that it's been 5 months since start my stay-at-home-mom gig. Wow, time has just flown by.

How am I doing? That's a good question. I think my husband, who knows my great need to connect with people on a regular basis, was recently a bit worried about me and kept asking if I was getting bored at home. "I am definitely not bored," I told him. "There's hardly time to be bored around here!"

I had a busy few months after I stopped work (or more accurately, started full-time work at home). There was our trip to Sydney, then Advent and Christmas, followed closely by Chinese New Year. After that there was a lull -- during which I felt like I was nursing a celebration hang-over -- and then it was Naomi's birthday party.

I guess you can say that after all that excitement, I've been suffering the post-party blues ever since. For the last few weeks, I was stuck in a bit of a rut. I was just going through the motions with the kids, and didn't make plans to meet any friends or do any activities. It was an unproductive stretch for me. I guess it happens to everyone. I mean, unproductive days used to happen to me in the office too, sometimes more regularly than I would have liked. It was no fun though, so recently I took some steps to get myself out of it. I made plans to catch up with some friends, brought the kids out, and tried out some new recipes at home. I'm feeling on the upswing as a result.

Over the weekend, I also planned an Easter party that I was pretty happy about.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm still happy to have this time to spend at home and am in no rush to get back into the workforce just yet. I can't say I haven't been tempted to go back to work. I had an interesting e-mail from a headhunter and briefly toyed with the idea of pursing it further. But I look at the two faces before me, and I shelf all thoughts of working full-time. This is the season for my home and my kids. I want to be there with them, watch them grow in person rather than vicariously. Kids only grow up once. A career, well, that can wait. For now.

When I think about work, I know I have had it good. I have achieved most of what I have wanted to achieve up to this point. In the 10 years I'd been working, I was involved in high-value matters and cross-border deals. I've done enough "cutting-edge and high profile" work to know that such work is invariably painful and not always desirable! I have worked with and for some of the most brilliant minds in the industry, a privilege that I am very grateful for. I switched portfolios and tried out different fields, and satisfied myself that I could perform the functions equally well. I've collected fat paychecks as well as not-so-fat but still pretty decent ones. Wherever I went, I was blessed with bosses who valued me and my work, affirming my self-belief that I wasn't that bad at my job after all. Through it all, I have been challenged and stretched. While I can't say that I've always enjoyed my work, I definitely have no regrets being where I have been, doing what I have done.

So I do want to go back at some point, God willing. But for now, home is where my heart is. I remind myself often that as much as this is supposed to be for the kids' benefit, I am also doing this for me. I remind myself of this especially during those moments when the kids don't seem particularly appreciative or when the drudgery gets to me. But when I see Naomi do her cute little jiggle to music, or when she surprises me with a new word she's learnt, or when Noey says something funny, or when he surprises me with a new word that he's learnt to read, I am glad that I am there in the moment.

I must also add that I'm very grateful that the hubs for giving me the opportunity to be at home for now. He's always been ever supportive and that has been a big help. If only he didn't have to work such long hours, but I guess someone has to bring home the bacon, eh?

I'll update in a couple of months and we'll see if I'm singing a different tune.

My current bosses, squeezing me out of my rightful space in bed. Don't they look lovely when they're asleep?