Tulipmania with Miffy at Gardens By The Bay

There will be tulips blooming in Singapore over this week and guess which little tike had a tiny part to play in that?

Following its hugely successful run last year, Tulipmania will be returning to Gardens By The Bay this year, starting tomorrow! From 14 April to 4 May 2014, the flower field in the Flower Dome will be awash with tulips and hyacinths, and it promises to be a spectacular sight. 

But before that, the flowers have to be planted, and we were really excited to be invited to be part of the gardening crew for the day. 

We were first briefed on the layout of plants on the flower field, which looks to be quite different from last year's arrangement. Instead of rows, the flowers will be grown around miniatures of Dutch canal scenes, houses and windmills in a setup inspired by Madurodam, a popular miniature park in the Netherlands.

Just as I was starting to get a little bit worried about the size of the task, we were led to the back-of-house and shown what we actually had to do: plant tulip bulbs in pairs in planter boxes. (Whew!) These planter boxes would, when completed, be installed in front of Dutch houses to bloom. The tulip bulbs, all 25,000 of them, had arrived overnight from Holland, conveniently grown in their own little individual planters. So all we had to do was pop them out and replant them in the planter boxes. I was surprised to learn that it takes 4 to 5 years to grow tulip bulbs to the size that were being used for Tulipmania. Size matters! The bigger the bulbs, the bigger and stronger the flowers they produce. 

We were given gardening tools and big bags of compost and told to get going. All the kids needed to hear were the reassuring words: "it doesn't matter if you make a mess!". With that, they were off! Naomi's favourite bit was digging in compost.

And Noey's was trying to work out the optimum height to achieve the best compost-in-planter to compost-on-table ratio.

He was pretty pleased with our handiwork when we were done! Some of the bulbs didn't quite sit straight, but another interesting thing we learnt about tulip bulbs is that they are phototropic, ie. they will always grow towards the light. So it didn't matter if the bulbs were leaning to a side as they would naturally grow up straight up to the light anyway. Very forgiving toward us amateur gardeners, I'd say!

The real highlight for the morning however, weren't so much the tulips but a certain bunny who caused quite a stir with her appearance -- Miffy! If you're wondering what Miffy has to do with tulips, the answer is that is that, like these tulips, Miffy hails from The Netherlands. (Hands up those of you who thought that Miffy was Japanese!) Miffy's original Dutch name is Nijntje, a shortening of diminutive konijnte or "little rabbit".

It was our first time meeting Miffy live and the kids were very taken by her, especially Meips. She couldn't keep away from Miffy and kept trailing Miffy around, wanting to go hold her hand and give her a hug. I had to physically remove her to prevent her from getting in the photos of others.

(Photo credit: KLM's Facebook Page) 

As an added bonus, the children were give the opportunity to do some planting in the flower field under the watchful eye of Miffy. Boy, were they enthusiastic! Armed with shovels and their hyacinth bulbs, they got down to work.

The kids both enjoyed the process thoroughly and proved themselves to be pretty good gardeners, though Meips was foiled in her attempt to shower her Gor-gor with soil.

After all that work, someone really needed to rest!

We'll be back again at Tulipmania again this week to see the flowers in bloom. The tulips are expected to start blooming from tomorrow and the best time to catch them is likely to be the upcoming Good Friday long weekend (or slightly before that!). If you're excited to catch Miffy, do note that Miffy will only be making special appearances at Tulipmania at the following events:

1. Easter Egg Hunt with Miffy
Date: Sunday 20 April 2014
Egg Hunt Sessions: 11am, 1pm and 3pm.
(Each session is 1 hour long and registration opens in the Flower Dome 30 mins before each session.)
Eligibility: Chidren aged 3 to 12 years. (Children between the ages of 3 to 6 require parental supervision.)
Admission charges to the Cooled Conservatories apply.

2. Tulip Cheer
Date: Saturday 26 April 2014
Appearance Timings: 11am, 1pm, 2pm and 3pm.

Also, starting from 14 April 2014, all visitors to the Flower Dome will receive a souvenir Miffy postcard. Don't forget to collect yours as you enter the Flower Dome, while stocks last! 

For more details on ongoing activities for Tulipmania, do check out the Tulipmania page on the Gardens By the Bay website. You can also check out the KLM Facebook Page to follow Miffy's adventures in Singapore. 

Tulipmania
Flower Dome, Gardens By The Bay
14 April to 4 May 2014
9am to 9pm daily
Admission charges to the Cooled Conservatories apply.
(There is an ongoing promotion for Senior Citizens offering a 50% discount off regular Senior Citizen rates for the Flower Dome. ie. resident senior citizens only need pay $4 for entry!)

The Tuition Crutch

I read, with an equal sense of horror and fascination, the article in the Straits Times on Monday about top students having tuition, some of them for all their subjects. There were a few things that troubled me greatly.

1. That the good students felt that they needed tuition in order to maintain their grades. 

This, no doubt, is the reason why tuition/enrichment is a nearly $1 billion dollar industry, with more than 90% of school-going students apparently having some form of tuition. I can understand needing tuition to get some extra help where the student is struggling and would benefit from some extra coaching, but tuition for students who are already doing well? To me it shows that our students have developed a form of crutch mentality, where they feel like they need the tuition in order to do well when in actual fact, they should be perfectly capable of managing on their own. Aside from being a waste on resources, I think it's very unhealthy. More than just acquiring actual knowledge, the process of learning should enable one to, well, learn how to learn. To gather information, read it, process it, distill out the necessary, and apply it. Tuition is a shortcut, and I don't think it is helpful in the long run because the students then don't develop the necessary skills. 

Which leads to the next point.

2. That even tertiary students are getting tuition.

Even in University? Seriously? When does the tuition crutch end? Would they need a tutor to help them with their work when they start work too to show them the ropes? 

I think this is the effect from having had tuition all your life. That once you run into problems with your work, you turn to a tutor instead of figuring it out yourself, asking your school teachers for advice, or asking your peers.

Perhaps they are like a child I am acquainted with who asked to continue attending all the enrichment classes her parents signed her up for when her parents thought it necessary to re-jig her schedule. "If not, how will I learn?" she earnestly asked. I applaud her diligence, but I think if it were my child, I would want her to know that she can equally learn outside the classroom, that self-discovery can also be fun and rewarding.

3. That the student who was quoted in the papers as needing tuition in her strongest subjects said that one of her reasons for doing so was that it allowed her to "learn faster than her friends".

It was very disheartening to read that and feel that the competition here is such that students feel a need to learn faster than their friends. What kind of society do we have if one consistently feels the need to get ahead?

I was never strong in Math, though I never thought I was poor in it because my mother consistently told me I was good at it. Anyway, I struggled with 'E' Math in Sec 1 and 2, and after I got a failing grade in Sec 1, my mum thought it necessary to get me a tutor. The tutor definitely helped. But what also helped was the fact that in Sec 2, my teacher got me to sit beside the best Math student in class, and tasked her to help me along when I didn't understand something. (This Math genius of a classmate of mine was so good that she was allowed to do Math Olympiad questions during class time and not follow the lesson, by the way.) She did, and I benefitted, because I was better able to follow the class lessons. I also didn't need tuition after a while.

Would today's top student do that for a struggling classmate? I don't know. In fact, I have the sinking feeling that they would just ask their classmate to go take tuition instead.

As a parent of a pre-schooler and toddler who have not yet entered the system, I must admit that I am nervous about the day when they will have to enter Primary school. For now, I am at leisure to let the children lead the kind of life I think all kids should have -- one with plenty of time to play, read, explore the world around them, daydream, get bored and find their own fun. Anecdotal evidence suggests that would change once they start formal schooling. One day I might feel the "need" to march the kids down the tuition route. But at that point, I hope I'll stop to consider this and remember that tuition may not always be the best solution in the long run.

 

London 2013: Jamie's Italian, Reading

So the big news is that Jamie Italian's Singapore branch opens tomorrow!

Ok, so it's only big news if you're a fan girl, which I must confess that I am. I've been a fan since the first time I watched The Naked Chef in a friend's room in the hall in UK. It was how he made cooking seem so… easy. Jamie Oliver taught me to cook, and I've never looked back.

Needless to say, I was quite excited to try a couple of his restaurants when in London in May/June this year. We celebrated my birthday at Barbecoa, and then for our last meal, we tucked in at Jamie's Italian's in Reading.

I thought it might be fun to show you some pics of Jamie's Italian in Reading on this day, to whet your appetite for the new local branch. 

It was quite a cool restaurant, in a stand-alone location over the water, but I didn't take any pics of that. All you get is the door. Oops.

A word from the man!

There's branding everywhere. You can buy these napkins too, and pretty much all the servingware they use. I expressed some incredulity at the commercialism, only to be told that people were stealing the napkins from the restaurant, so yeah.

The bar. Alas, the drinks aren't ours.

The eye-catching main counter with it's huge slabs of cured meat all hanging in a row. Mmm.

Meips, impressed with the Stokke Tripp Trapp. Definitely one of the classiest high chair options we've ever been offered at a restaurant.
(DD just rolled his eyes when I pointed it out!)

Now, what shall we order?

Our food! Here's a close-up of the Meat Plank.

Definitely got Noey's stamp of approval.

Crab & Avocado Bruschetta. Good but disappointingly smaller than expected. (Our friends had ordered the bruschettas on previous occasions and the portion was larger.) 

Crab Spaghettini. DD's order. Delicious with sweet crab.

Sausage Rigatoni, which was a special for the night, in a starter portion for Noey. I thought it tasted really good and full of flavour, but it was a bit spicy for Noey's liking. A bit on a boo-boo on my part to have forgotten to check the spiciness level of the dish before ordering!

Me and my Seafood Bucatini. They have this on the SIngapore menu! I loved the sauce though it was spicier than I anticipated, and the yummy fresh seafood. Wasn't so much a fan of the tubular spaghetti though. Would have preferred regular spaghetti, which I'm going to ask for if I order this in the Singapore restaurant.

The messy mouth says it all! Meips had a starter portion of the Sausage Pappardelle, which is also on the Singapore menu, and she really LOVED it. This one was a good one!

Happy faces all round, with our dear Aunty D!

It was a good meal, albeit a rather pricey one. Such was eating out in UK. How would the local Jamie's Italian measure up? You can bet I'll be going down to find out.

Being a Working Mum, Childcare and Child Abuse

It has been an interesting week for me.

On Monday, a friend contacted me to ask if I would be free at short notice to help her out with a project for a couple of days. Super short notice in fact, as she needed me to be in her office that very same afternoon.

I decided to go for it. An opportunity like that doesn't come very often, and I thought it might be fun to be part of the working world for a bit.

My mug which my girlfriends gave to me for my birthday, which they declared perfect for the office. 

But being a working mum sure wasn't the easiest.

Being around them all day, it was a little hard leaving them behind, especially when Meips started crying big fat tears when I walked out the door. I usually try not to leave them alone with my helper for extended periods of time, but being at short notice, I didn't have much choice but to do so. I was very grateful that my MIL was able to step in and stay for most of the day on Tuesday, but otherwise, my helper was it.

At least I know she is fairly reliable when it comes to the children. Indeed, I returned home each night to find that the kids had already been fed, bathed and changed into their PJs well ahead of their regular schedule. I was told that they ate more quickly - and without their usual shenanigans - without me around. Hmmm. Made me think I should make myself scarce during mealtimes more often!

All this brings me to my point, which is that childcare you can count on is so important when you're a working mum.

Yes, this made me think about the case of alleged child abuse which recently took place at My First Skool, a childcare centre, where a teacher was caught on CCTV handling a child roughly, leading the the child suffering from a fractured shin. It is not easy leaving your precious children to go to work and the least that you need is the peace of mind that they will be safe and cared for in the time that you are away. As a stay-at-home-mum, I know how difficult, and indeed annoying little kids can be. Sometimes, it can really get to you. Sometimes, you will reach that point when you just need to walk away. And that's probably what should have happened: the teacher should have walked away because there is just no place for child abuse. 

I guess there is no point talking about what the teacher should or should not have done now. I just think it is sad that this has happened to a pre-school sector that is short on places and urgently in need of manpower. But I do hope that more attention will be given to provide pre-school teachers with adequate support and maybe training to handle such situations in more appropriate ways.

For me, my stint as a working mum is over for now. It was fun while it lasted but I think my real work? That's at home. 

2030: Is It Still Home When You Don't Recognise It?

I don't know about you, but at the moment, my attention is captivated by the discussion about the White Paper on Population that is the talk of town.

I've been reading the parliamentary reports in the newspapers and online, and I've also read the paper itself. It is clear that the pains have ben taken to emphasise the Singaporean core (whatever that means), maintaining a high quality of life, and the danger of looming threats, but all anyone sees -- all I see -- is that number. 6.9 million.

6.9 million!

Immediately images of being among the throngs of people at Causeway Bay in Hong Kong spring to mind and I shudder at the thought.

I'm no economist or social commentator. I don't know how to dissect the numbers, talk importantly about GDP or even propose new or better alternatives. But looking at Singapore as it is today, I am filled with a sense of dread over what is to come.

There's so much talk about a Singaporean core, but I don't understand what it means if it doesn't mean that Singaporeans make up the overwhelming majority. How would Singaporeans form the central, foundational part of society if there aren't, you know, a lot more of them around than non-Singaporeans? 

As it is, I have yet to come to terms with the fact that the Singapore today is very different from the Singapore I grew up in. Oh, it's much glossier and much more swanky, but in that process of upgrading -- a truly Singaporean aspiration -- it feels like it's lost some of its soul.

I go to the parks and I find myself surrounded by PRCs accents. I go out to shop and eat and I'm greeted and served by Filipino voices and hands. I found it particularly sad that even when I went on the Singapore Duck Tour with the kids some time back, a tourist attraction to introduce Singapore to visitors, virtually all the staff were Filipino! I've nothing against foreigners coming to seek their fortunes in this land, by the way. As a product of an immigrant society, I feel it's hypocritical to feel otherwise. I'm just wondering where all the Singaporeans have gone.

An interesting quirk of my history is that while I am certainly Singapore-bred, I'm not Singapore-born. I have parents who are as Singaporean as can be, but as it happens, I was born in UK when my father was there pursuing his further education. That's as far as my link with the UK goes. I never had a UK passport. So worried were my grandparents that I would not be able to enter Singapore that my parents only got a Singapore passport for me. I flew home at the grand ol' age of one month.

But still, by virtue of my having been born in the UK, I was considered a British national of sorts, and when I turned 21, I was asked to make a decision: to renounce my right to a British citizenship and formally become a Singapore citizen, or to take up steps to become a British citizen and give up my Singapore citizenship. At that point, I had never even stepped on British soil. Singapore was the only country I knew. It was my home and where I saw myself for a long time to come. I wouldn't say it was an easy choice, but the choice was clear.

Ironically this happened months before I was due to fly to the UK on a year-long exchange programme. Sometimes I wonder whether my choice would have been different if I had just been born later in the year. Certainly a number of my Singaporean classmates in the UK university I was at were envious of my opportunity and expressed dismay at my choice. But being away from Singapore accentuated the fact that where I was just wasn't home. I missed familiar, previously-regarded-as-tiresome traditions. I sought to reproduce the food that I missed. And I frequently found myself smiling when I heard a Singaporean accent. My ears prick up and an immediate sense of kinship is kindled.

Singapore is my home, but would I continue to regard it as so when I don't recognise it?

When I looked at fresh land use plans that had been drawn up, I tried to stifle the sigh that rose to my lips. Again, more old buildings will be torn down, cemeteries exhumed, land deforrested for homes, homes, homes. This time even some of the golf courses will not be spared.

I frequently lament the fact that of the schools that I've studied in, only one remains in the same location I recognise. Even this one school will soon be no longer as there are plans for it to move to a new location in the coming years. Of the homes I have lived in, the two which hold the most meaning for me are no longer. One was a house which has been torn down and re-built by subsequent owners, and the other was sold en-bloc. A swanky new condo now stands in its stead.

With each change, I feel less and less connection to the land -- it is all foreign to me. And it look like that trend is going to continue.

What would growing up in Singapore like be for my children? I really don't know, and at this point, I'm not sure I'm looking forward to finding out.

 

Having the Sickies

It's been a long and stressful week.

Our little Nomi hasn't been well. She caught a cold/cough from Noey last weekend, but whereas he bounced back from it fairly quickly, she's been battling the symptoms all week. I always dread it when she falls ill as her fevers tend to be high (above 39°C) and prolonged. The poor girl was also coughing nasty phlegmy sounding coughs, which, over the past few days, got bad enough to affect her sleep -- and mine.

We were worried enough at one point to bring her down to KK in the middle of the night to get her checked out. After waiting ages to get a blood test done and see a doctor, we were told that there was no infection and that it was probably a viral fever that could last up to a week. Well, the fever didn't go away, so we went to see the Paed yesterday and guess what? It turns out she does have an infection and it's the onset of Pneumonia.

DD was the one who brought her to the Paed and I can tell you my heart just stopped when he texted me the diagnosis. What ensued was a mad rush to Mt A to get an x-ray and consult her regular Paed on the need for admission. It was a totally crazy morning. Our doctor didn't say it, but I knew she thought I should have brought Naomi in to see her earlier and that we would have picked this up sooner. The Mummy guilt was already telling me the same thing. (I love our Paed by the way. It's just that appointments are always full and the parking situation at Mt A is so bad that I try to avoid going there as much as possible.)

Anyway. The good news is that our Paed thought it was possible to treat Nomi at home without needing to admit her, so we were able to take her home, albeit armed with antibiotics and the nebulizer. The little girl hates being nebbed but it's just got to be done. She already seems much better, which is a relief. And we are not going back to KK A&E again.

With the lack of sleep and our busy morning, I only caught up with the news on the Sandy Hook shooting in the afternoon. And cried, like every parent would. The thought of my babies being sick enough to need hospitalisation is stressful enough. The thought that they might just never come home makes me sick to the stomach.

At that point I was glad that I had both my children to hold. They didn't understand why Mummy was so sombre, but accepted the cuddles gladly while we took time to pray for the families who lost someone they loved in the tragedy. I think my kids will be dealing with extra hugs for a while.

Goodbye, London 2012

The London Olympics drew to a close this weekend and I'm sorry to see it end. It has been a fascinating two weeks. 

I wasn't too interested before it began, but as usual, once the action started, the sports fan in me was totally sucked in. 

It was the first Olympics ever for the two kids - Noey was still in utero during the Beijing 2008 games - and I sat down with them every evening to watch the highlights for the day. And as I did so, I was reminded of how this is a tradition that my father started with us.

My father played a huge part in my love for sports. He loved sporting activity - both getting active and watching sports on TV. My father is quite a natural sportsman. While he claims never to have excelled in any sport, he picks up every sport easily and is competent at every sport he tries. He is also quite a tv addict, and I remember hours of sitting with him as he patiently explained the game, tactics and strategy of every sport in such a way that I too would be engaged and absorbed. I learnt about golf, billiards, darts, F1 racing, and of course, football, just by sitting beside him. The Olympics and the World Cup were the highlights of our tv-watching sporting calendar.

With this Olympics, it was a joy to me to see Noey gradually get converted. From complaining that he wanted to watch his kids' programmes when I turned on the television in the evening, he was soon grabbing the remote control from me to prevent me from changing the channel when the Olympics came on screen. "Don't change the channel! I want to watch 'Today in London'. I LOVE the Olympics!" he would tell me. 

He has his favourites. "Usain Bolt!" he would announce delightedly when the Jamaican comes on screen, or when he hears the tv presenter mention his name. The big man's lightning fast runs coupled with his entertaining poses at start and at the end of his races won him one little fan in my household. I have a soft spot for athletics, having run competitively for many years while I was in school, and I joined him in celebrating the achievements of athletes in this, the purest of sports.

While we watch the Olympics for the stars, even at 3.5 years of age, my son gets excited when he sees a Singaporean in the line-up of a race. "Where's the Singaporean?" he'd ask me, straining to see our local representatives in the different sports. We watched Singaporeans in many games where they featured - rowing, women's 100m hurdles, and swimming, to name a few. Each time our representative didn't do so well, he would ask me why they didn't win. I used the opportunity to give him a lesson about how participating in the Olympics is an achievement in itself, and that it was as important that these athletes gave their best.

And then there was table tennis. I missed catching Feng Tianwei's bronze medal match in the women's singles, but Noey and I managed to watch the women's team bronze medal match against South Korea together. The 3-0 scoreline did not tell the whole story. The matches were hard fought and exciting. My heart was in my mouth at some points. Noey, on the other hand, kept bouncing around in excitement. "Which one is Singapore, Mummy? Is it that one? Singapore is very good!"

To my little boy, who knows nothing about the politics behind naturalised athletes nor questions whether any player is a "true Singaporean" or not, he only knows and recognises that it is our country being represented. That Singapore won a medal, and it is something to get excited and be proud of.

The issue of imported, naturalised sportsmen continues to be a contentious one, and I am sad that it is the case. Singapore is certainly not the first country to have naturalised athletes, and is certainly not the last. I can understand some (though not all) of the unhappiness with the money being spent on foreign talent. Yes, perhaps some of the money would be better spent helping the needy or supporting local talent. But sports and sporting achievements have their place too. And I believe local athletes who show potential are fairly well looked after here in Singapore.

For a society with immigrant roots, it seems particularly ironic to me that we tear down and treat as outsiders those who come to seek their fortunes and ply their trade here. And if we do not embrace new comers, then why should they do so in return and how can we complain if they don't assimilate?  

It is one of my desires for my children that they would take to sports and enjoy it. Since starting on the Olympics, I have seen Noey start to involve some ball play in his play time instead of only messing around with his usual Lego and cars. He wants to play football, and basketball. "And table tennis!" he added, just today.

I remember DPM Teo speaking after Feng Tianwei's bronze medal win spoke of inspiring the next generation of athletes. Here in my home, I saw that happen.

Top 10

If you had flipped through Today on Friday, you might have noticed a familiar little face in an ad on page 59:

Yup, there in the top right corner is Naomi!

I did it again, I must admit. I signed Naomi up for another baby contest. (Only this one and no other. Yet.) Riding on the feeling of a missed chance from the previous baby contest, I saw the call for entries and thought: Why not? The top prize of $2,000 and a 1-year baby modelling contract with Carrefour was certainly attractive! I confirmed that there was no need to canvass for votes and that the final was not on a Sunday, then went ahead to submit a picture.

I then forgot about it, until I got a call in late April informing me that Naomi was one of the 10 finalists. From a total of over 550 entries, I think it's quite an achievement.

They informed us at a pre-event briefing that an ad would be run in Today. I mentioned in passing to my helper that we should look out for it and the very next day, she excitedly thrust the ad under my nose the minute I woke up. 

The grandparents were, understandably, very excited and proud to see Naomi's photo in the papers. My Mum had come over to our place for the day and she was busy on her phone the whole time, messaging and receiving messages from her friends about it.

It all culminates in the final, which will be held this coming Saturday at 2pm at Suntec City in the atrium outside Carrefour. There are 3 segments: (1) A Parent-Child Catwalk with an introduction by the parent, which would be me in this case, (2) A Talent segment (!!!), and (3) A Foot Race. I think only the foot race will be easy! At least that's straight-forward. I've been cracking my head about the other two segments, particularly the talent segment. "Talent" is defined very loosely when referring to a 1-year old! Let's see how it goes on Saturday.

Anyway, if you'd like to support Naomi, you can click on this link and like her photo in the contest album or leave a message for us. Or, if you happen to be around in Suntec on Saturday, come round and say hi! 

I'll check back in again after it's all over with an update on how it went. Honestly, I'm not expecting her to win because most of the kids are really cute. I'm aiming to have fun - and no meltdowns! Winning would be a bonus!

I Get To Vote!

It's Polling Day today. Today, I'll be casting a ballot for the first time in 10 years.

Back in 2001, I played a part in making my choice in the General Elections. Today however, we will be voting in a very different election for the President.

I thought very long and hard about posting about my thoughts about this election and my choice earlier on, but decided not to. This is mainly because in this election, I know I will not be able to be impartial and objective. Friends on Facebook will know that I clearly support Dr Tan Cheng Bock. Of the many reasons for that choice, one of them is that members of his team and his family include people whom we hold very dear to us. In this case, I am happy that Doc is also the person I think best suited for the job. Knowing him personally, I can say that he is warm and genuine, and is really a people person. I think that the fact that so many of his men -- ordinary Singaporeans -- from his Ayer Rajar constituency continue to show such undying devotion to him even after he has retired from politics reflects well on him and speaks volumes of the type of man he is. If you look at his team, you will realize that Doc continues to surround himself with ordinary folk, and not the rich or influential.

I read a comment somewhere that said that what you do in the years before an election is more important than what you do or say during an election. This comes through clearly from the many testimonies that so many of Doc's old patients and constituents have put forth. A person can keep saying that he has the heart for the people, but if in the many years prior he can show nothing to evidence that, one should be careful not to be taken in.

I think many people have their reasons for backing their choice of candidate. Some well-thought through, some frivolous. The beauty or bane of the one-man one-vote system is that everyone gets that one equal say in it. I won't ask you to vote wisely, for what is wise? The role of the President does mean many different things to different people. But do give your choice some measure of consideration. For me, after a bruising General Election just months ago, I would hope that today, whoever the chosen one may be, he will, as head of state, command the respect of all Singaporeans alike and bring the people together and not divide society further.

Ok, let's go vote!

Edited to add:

I got to cast my first vote in 10 years at my old school. Possibly the first time in 15 years I've been back!

As the Curtain Falls

As the dust settles and election fever dies down, it's back to regular programming for me. I think my kids were glad to see me today without my face stuck in my iPhone, feverishly scrolling for updates as I had been for the past 2 weeks.

This has been a very different General Election, not the least because I could finally go to bed after the results feeling some real satisfaction. Throughout the campaigning period, I was amused by the doomsday reckonings of my PAP supporting friends. I was surprised how many bought into the fear factor declarations of the stock market crashing or government collapse after the results of the elections. Please. While the dissent on the ground was more palpable this time, the electorate still has some way to go before the large middle ground are prepared to cast their votes against the PAP returning to power. DD and I were fully prepared for a 86-1 result, while hoping against hope that it would not be 87-0.



While I was expecting it, it was still heartbreaking to see Mr Chiam's legacy at Potong Pasir come to an end. The man is a legend and plenty of heart, and Singapore will be poorer as a result of his exit. Sadly, his inability to groom a proper successor ultimately led Potong Pasir to fall. Dear Lina Chiam, sweet as she seemed, was never really his successor in her own right. She was more of a proxy for Mr Chiam and in the end, I guess it just wasn't enough for some voters. Some residents obviously still cannot accept the fact that change has come, fruitlessly petitioning for a by-election. There is no basis for this -- Sitoh won the election. That is that for Potong Pasir. Come the next elections, I'm 99% certain that Potong Pasir absorbed into a GRC and wiped off the electoral map. I can't help but shed a tear for the passing of an era.



In the end, I savoured the Aljunied win by the WP, I did. This would go down in the history books. But whether this small foothold makes a difference to governance, well, only time would tell. While I personally would have liked to see more alternative voices in Parliament, if the current ruling party starts listening to the people and changing their tune, that would not be a bad consolation prize. The report card would be out in 5 years.



Please let me be able to vote then!

(All the photos in this post were taken by Edwin Koo who took and posted some amazing shots of the General Elections. You can find see all his shots here: Album 1 & Album 2)

On Being a Mother, Chinese or Not

So much has been said and discussed about Amy Chua's article on her "Chinese" way of parenting since it has been published. I've had friends vehemently opposed to what was written, and those who have voiced support for such an approach. I personally think that what was written has probably been sensationalised to publicize her upcoming book so I took it with a pinch of salt.

I had many thoughts when I first read the article and it has led me to reflect deeply on how I was brought up, the value my parents put on academics and the methods they used. If the article described Chinese parenting, then you can say that my parents were clearly of the Chinese parenting school of thought, though they were never that extreme. I had written a long post looking back on how I was brought up on these because writing always helps me clarify my thoughts. In the end however, I have decided not to publish it. Yes, my parents were strict, they were sometimes harsh, and there were times when they were (I felt) overbearing and over-controlling. But I know they meant well and out of respect for them, I spare you, and them, the details.

The challenge DD and I have ahead of us is the question of how we want to parent Noey and our Mei-mei to come. I want them to live a rich, fulfilling and meaningful life, putting to good use all the talents that God has blessed them with, in service of God, wherever they might find themselves. I don't want them to be happy. Happiness is, indeed fleeting, and may in many instances be self-serving. What I want for them is to be content and holy, which to me includes being good stewards of what God gives them -- their time, their abilities, their relationships.

To me, this is where academics come in. Because they would be spending a lot of time just being students, being a good steward to me would mean them taking ownership of their studies and performing to the best of their abilities. The question which I need to answer is how I can instill a sense of responsibility and encourage them to be self-motivated in this regard.

Not everyone is naturally self-motivated. I myself fall woefully short. Despite showing plenty of early promise, I remained an underachiever in the academic field for all of my school-going years. I just never found the motivation to study and could always be found panicking and cramming at the last minute. As a result, I have always had disappointing results during major examinations. My grades were decent, but I know I have never lived up to my potential.

It is by God's grace that my working life has been smooth and I have thus far managed to find favour with my bosses, who value me and appreciate my work. I believe however that this is also because my parents managed to instill in me quite an unshakable belief in my abilities. (Hah!) I like to be good at my job; I don't like to be mediocre. Funny how I could never apply that to my studies huh!

I haven't decided yet what approach I would take with Noey when he starts formal schooling, of course. But while trawling the Kiasu Parents Forum for pre-school information, I came across this very interesting and insightful post by a Mum. The discussion had spun off the Amy Cheng article and this Mum was sharing what she did with her kids and well, I was very impressed. When asked by another forumer, she later said she has a Ph.D in Human Motivation so that's probably how she knew what to do what she did. I have reproduced her whole post below but you can also find the link to the original post here.

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By Chenonceau:

I am not weighing in on the debate Pro-Drilling or Against-Drilling. Because, I do both depending on the situation. I rather suspect that most Mommies here do too. We all do a bit of both I think. I am also not telling other mommies/daddies what best they should do because I am not in their situation.

I went and dug out The Daughter's report book. Here is my story.

The Daughter scored 79 for English, 88 for Math in P1. She placed in the bottom 25% of her YEAR. However, in P1 she scored 99% for Chinese because Grandma plied her with assessment books. Little Boy's grades followed the same pattern.

English, Math and Science were my subjects to coach. Chinese was Grandma's. We took very different approaches. I looked past the grades in P1 & P2 for both my kids. In P1 & P2 my objectives were (1) they get used to school, (2) they adapt well socially, (3) they learn basic self-management skills, (4) the kinda keep up, (5) they like learning (6) they understand the value of diligence and discipline, and (7) they take full ownership of their studies.

These were all specific qualitative aims I had in mind. Not quantifiable but I wanted to focus on laying this foundation so that I would have a strong foundation of work ethic and self-management skills to build on in Upper Primary.

P1 & P2: Foundational Study Skills
I expected my kids to pack their bags, take notes, keep track of homework etc... That's tough you know for the little ones. So many times, they forgot their books. My son lost his exam schedule and I didn't help him get another. For 3 weeks, he went to school with his transparent exam pencil box because we didn't know when exactly his exams where and which day was what exam.

How to get good grades like that?

Nonetheless, whilst they were thus struggling, I was always warm and supportive ... and I gave a lot of loving advice. Next time, you need to remember this and that and the other. I had high expectations (about specific behaviors, not grades) but I tried not to help. I didn't gloat or say "Hah! You deserved it!" That's very mean and discouraging. Every boo boo was an opportunity to talk about how my child could manage himself better.

I gave very little drills at this stage. If they remembered to do their homework, I was happy. My kids "failed" at this stage but neither really failed as in score below 50. I did not allow that to happen. Their lowest grades were still 70+. I reckoned that that was what I could live with... believing that catch up was imminently possible from a 70s range.

P3 & P4: Transiting From Skills Focus to Grades Focus
By P3, they pretty much got the hang of the skills required to keep one's head afloat in school. They took notes, their bags were neat and they owned their study process completely because whilst I was encouraging and free with my advice, I tried not to help too much. So, about P3, I began to set grade goals (90+ for every subject).

At first, neither kid believed they were capable (since neither had ever scored in that range before except for Chinese), but I told them that I knew they could do it.

I began to PROPOSE drills, and because both are close to me, they do bend to my wishes even when gently proposed. Mostly I gave them past year exams from other schools. I planned the schedule and checked in every weekend to see if everything was done, and done well. At this stage, I was still refining study skills. I wanted to see careful work, good handwriting... I was less fussy about grades than I was about general work quality. I threw absolute hissy fits when work was shoddy and careless, but looked past genuine errors and absolute scores.

By end-P4, they were hitting the 90s in English, Math and Science. Strangely though, their Chinese grades dropped to the 80s. I kept telling Grandma that the way she taught the children Chinese made them feel like they didn't own the process. When they did well in Chinese, Grandma felt proud that she was a good teacher and hardworking too and conscientious. But my kids felt dispossessed of their glory. Their Chinese marks belonged to Grandma. Also, as you move into P4, the syllabus changes. Whether Chinese, English, Science or Math, the kids nowadays are no longer tested what is in the textbook.

By P3 & P4, kids are tested OUTSIDE of what is stated in the textbook. Grandma was still drilling textbook material. To score in the 90s for Science, Little Boy had to do independent internet Science research! We constructed Powerpoint slides, put him in a Professor's geeky glasses and made him present his findings. To score in the 90s for English, we were reading tons of storybooks and practising how to create metaphors, analogies and alliterative effects (e.g., Pretty Puddle of Pungent Poo). We read poetry. Basically, there was no way to drill our way to success because there was no way to predict what would be tested. Anything could be tested, and so I took a blunderbuss approach - LEARN EVERYTHING INTERESTING and HAVE FUN. Look at what teacher taught, ask questions of yourself and look for the answers on your own. Never mind if not in syllabus. You learn more and you won't die, and you'll have fun.

"The grades will come" I promised them. Back then, it was me putting on a brave front and being a brave mother so that my children would have the strength to carry on and keep trying. I couldn't tell them I didn't believe in them. In this way, I concur with Amy Chua... the best thing you can do for your child is to believe in him.

Meanwhile, Grandma went on drilling from the textbook. And whatever I said to her, she wouldn't budge from her time-tested method. She had been a Chinese Teacher in the past and had tutored even Mrs Carmee Lim's daughters (ex-Principal of RGS). She thought she knew best but her methods were outdated and designed for a syllabus and an approach that was past.

P5 & P6: ABSOLUTE Grade Focus
In P5 and P6, I became Tiger Mother. The Daughter came home one day in P6 and waved a Science paper scored 98% in my face. I said "It was an easy exam. The PSLE won't be this easy." The Daughter has never forgotten that scathing comment.

I reckoned that by P5 & P6, my kids had amassed enough resilience and process skills to take some knocks and I did knock them about, though never as hard as what Amy Chua seems to have done.

Starting P5, there was a consistent practice schedule which intensified as we moved into the 2nd quarter of P6. I devised the schedule collaboratively with my kids and I was sensitive to their mental and physical states. I had no qualms about deleting work if I thought it was too much. I wanted to manage my kids energy levels. Must always have time to recharge even if grades suffered meantime. The rule in the house is to NEVER TOUCH BOOKS 3 days before and exam paper. And I made sure I allocated whole days or whole weeks of NO BOOKS so that they could play to their hearts' content.

There was a constant process of watching and adjusting. There was a lot of trust and dialogue. I worked them hard but I made sure that I was there to encourage and listen to their problems. But they still owned their study process. I proposed a work schedule and they decided if they could manage. More often than not, they would ADD in stuff and tell me "Mommy, I can try." They knew that the PSLE was an important exam.

I also built in a natural reward into the work schedule. If they somehow did their work fast and well, they had that extra time to play. I never gave more work when they finished theirs earlier than I had expected. And whenever I could, and they had finished earlier than expected, I would take time off work to play with them. Go somewhere they wanna go... do something they like... together.

Results
The Daughter placed consistently in the top 3 places from P5 to Sec 2. In Sec 3, she was handpicked for an accelerated program where the others were smarter and just as driven as she. To keep up, she really pushed herself. End Sec 3, she was in hospital with pneumonia, a result of 2 months of flu and insufficient rest. She was so motivated that it had become a problem. I went to school and got an exemption for one month of homework... plus I locked up her laptop. She vegetated at home that month.

Little Boy is now in P5. He looks at the work schedule that we worked out and if I decide to delete an item, he will say "Leave it in Mom. I will try."

Unfortunately, The Daughter's Chinese marks at 'O' levels went down to the 50s. She hated Chinese and rebelled completely against Grandma's micro-managing ways. Little Boy's Chinese dropped to 79 for the first time in end-P4. So, I've taken over Chinese from Grandma too... and I'm doing it my way now. Read a lot, have a lotta fun, and to hell with textbook. I will be introducing exam practices later in the year however. Learn and have fun first. Drill later.

Both drill and no-drill are important to me.

My Objective
I don't need my kids to be the best in class... but I want them to be the best they can be. If what they can be is 80+, then fine... and seriously, The Daughter's class now is full of people who are so smart she and I feel stupid. That's fine. We're not as smart. And we don't need to be.

She got where she was not because she was smart, but because she was motivated. Motivation can get a child farther than a parent's best wishes and most beautiful dreams. The Daughter is no longer at the top of her class anymore, but that is fine because I know she has reached her potential and maybe even a little beyond. The same with Little Boy. I know he can manage 90+ in every subject if he wants to. Even Chinese.

The trick is to make them want to. And the first step is to turn the ownership of the study process over to them... and make them own it. This should be done early enough (I think). I have just sacked Grandma and turned the ownership of Chinese over to Little Boy. He used to roll his eyes when Grandma complained he was slow. Today, in the car, he said "Mom, I have a problem. I am slow in my compo. Others have done 1.5 pages, I've only done 1."

He now owns his problem and I play the familar supportive role "Oh never mind... you keep on reading those books and one day, the grades will come. I promise" and I look at him with a confident smile. This way, he will keep on trying... and he will end up where he ends up in Chinese. And I will still be happy even if it isn't 90+.

Not the Only Approach
I consciously took an approach where I focused first on Foundational Study Skills to the detriment of grades. It worked for me. I am sure there are other parents who focused on both at the same time quite successfully. I am sharing my story because it isn't a usual approach, but it worked for me.

Tell me what you think!

The New Beginning

Before Noey's arrival I had a keen interest in the US Presidential elections, following the news on the primaries, the conventions, and the endless commentaries. By the time the election rolled round, a certain little mister had made his appearance, but I still managed to watch the live results on TV.

Last night I missed the inauguration. Such is life when it's overtaken by another little life.

Hello Mr President. I hope the Obama years will be significant and remembered for the right reasons in the years to come.

Loss

In response to everyone who has asked me - and there were many today - if I knew the victim of the attack: No, I don't, not beyond her being a familiar face in the corridors on campus years ago.

But I feel no less sad about the whole incident. It hit pretty close to home, especially since it really could have been someone I knew, or any one of us on a work trip. And looking at my baby now, my heart is heavy for the family. I gave him a kiss and held him close. The world is such a crazy place, all I want to do is keep him safe.

A Bonus, Baby

Wow, the announcements on the new Parenthood incentives were quite a roller coaster ride for the emotions the past few days -- from the excitement of extra bonuses coming our way following the PM's speech to resignation over the 1 Jan 09 implementation date, to the latest news that we qualify after all.

Hurray!

When they first announced that only babies born after 1 Jan 09 would be entitled to some of the enhanced benefits, I was disappointed, especially since babies born after 1 Jan 09 would also, like my baby, have already been conceived by now. It seemed rather arbitrary for the 1 Jan 09 to be picked -- why not May or Jun 09 if it was really to be an incentive? But well. I was prepared to take a "que sera sera" attitude towards it all.

But I found to my amusement that I was sucked into the whole drama that played out thereafter. It seemed my having a pregnant belly qualified me as an immediate target for folks, even colleagues from other departments to whom I rarely speak, who would ask me when I was due and sigh over my misfortune. The pantry lady whom I usually just exchange pleasantries with even asked me to join online protests and write in to complain, unhappily telling me how she thought the 1 Jan 09 date was unfair. (It turned out that she has a daughter due in Sept.)

What they don't know that it is in fact one of our other colleagues who was actively involved in the process leading to the policy change :) Ade and I are the 2 pregnant mums-to-be working on our project, and as a resutl of our states, have become quite pally, regularly trading pregnancy stories and tips. She was really riled by the news, since her baby is due in late Dec, about a week before the cut-off. Through her I came to read of the unhappiness on the forums and the petition making its way around the same day of the 1 Jan 09 announcement. No harm throwing my name into the ring on the petition, I figured, and I did. She however also told me she was going to go down for the MPS session at AMK that night with a group of other preggies to see the MPs and asked me if I wanted to go down. I didn't, but she did, and ended up being part of the "enthusiastic but not angry" mums-to-be who spoke to Inderjit Singh and, well, the rest of the story is there in the papers.

Whaddya know -- appeals sometimes do work! I've been ribbing Ade on her role as a protest leader instrumental in bringing about the change ever since. Haha.

So, I'm thinking, what should I get with my baby bonus? Maybe a new (diaper) bag?

Chugging into Our Neighbourhood

They've announced the new extensions to the MRT line and it looks like we will have an MRT station literally right next to us.

In 2015.

CRAP.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I have to say that I think it would be a great thing to have an MRT station at our doorstep. Just NOT when they're BUILDING it. The thought of my estate being like Holland Village - with the accompanying road diversions, construction and dust - makes me shudder. Sigh.

Well, we have till mid next year to enjoy the greenery that we currently enjoy when we look out our windows! Thereafter I suspect they will now parcel out quite a bit of the vacant land nearby for further residential projects now that they can tag an upcoming MRT station to it. What fun.

Gee, I really am all doom and gloom over this piece of news!

Photo Fiasco

So I was going to update my earlier post to say that my little F1 adventure came to a good ending - the folks at the booking hotline got back to me and I finally managed to finish my transaction. The seats weren't in the block I really wanted (which had unfortunately sold out) but the ones I got were pretty good so I thought that was the happy end to this matter.

Then there was that little fiasco of me appearing on the front page of the papers today, dressed in my company windbreaker, no less.

I got the shock of my life when a couple of friends gleefully messaged me early in the morning to let me know that they'd seen my silly face in the morning's papers. Yikes. And when I saw the pic, I was even more horrified - not only was I clearly not in the office but in queue, but I had to be caught wearing the very obvious (and rather ugly) company windbreaker. Sobs. I knew that even if my boss had not originally seen and recognised my face she was SO going to take a closer look because of that painfully obvious windbreaker. Argh!

Well, my boss definitely didn't miss the photo, much as I'd hoped it would be the case, but thankfully she was a good sport about it all and merely gently chided me for my somewhat inappropriate dress code. Luckily for me, she had remembered seeing me in the office in the morning so she knew it wasn't as if I was in line the whole day. We had a good laugh about it together with my colleagues who had no end of fun chuckling and ribbing me about my unfortunate circustances. Sigh.

And when DD finally got to see the photo, he just could not stop laughing. I guess my expression kinda made the headline. And since I'd settled down sufficiently to look at it, it is actually, a rather funny photo. I'm going to pop a copy into my file just for keeps.

But anyway, after all that trauma, the race had better be worth it! And I think I'm still adhere to not spending any money this week!