She Is Four

My dearest Mei,

You are officially four today. You’ve been counting down the days till this day so it was of no surprise to me hear from your Papa that you bounded out of bed this morning and shyly waited for him to wish you happy birthday before bursting with excitement. (I was out sending your Gor-gor to school.) That is so you, by the way, as was your later pronouncement:

“I am four years old!” you said proudly. “Soon I will be five?"

Tarry a while my dear. You still have quite a bit of growing up to do, even as I have to accept that you are my baby no longer. I guess in many ways, you stopped being a baby a long time ago. You, my dear, are my bright, funny, really cheeky, LOUD, and above all, fiercely independent sweetheart. You want to do everything yourself, which is sounds like a wonderful thing for a parent, but isn’t always the case. I put on your shoes for you and you’ll take them off to put them on again yourself. I put in a puzzle piece for you and you’ll take it out to re-fix it yourself. “I know how to do it,” you’ll tell me impatiently as I try to give you instructions on how to do things. And honestly, you do manage to do a lot of things yourself. (Well, maybe except for going to the toilet yourself instead of asking me many MANY times a day.) I’m pretty sure your sheer stubbornness plays a big part. You are one who needs to be schooled by experience and I can only pray that life would treat you kindly.

Over the past year we’ve seen the social side of you develop. You LOVE being with your friends, to the extent that Mummy here becomes persona non grata. I recently joined your class for a trip to the theatre, thinking we might be able to enjoy some bonding time. You were happy to see me, right up to the point when you realised you would be sitting with me in the bus instead of with your friends. You were not a happy camper. Yes, at three-years of age, you already think I cramp your style. It is for this reason that your father and I are thinking a bit more carefully about where you should be going in Primary school for it seems to us that who your friends are will come to have significant bearing on the type of person you turn out to be. I’m glad we still have a few years more to decide.

At the same time, I’m glad that we have a few more years to spend with you during these preschool years. We get a little time together everyday now after I pick you up from school, now that Gor-gor is in Primary 1, and I try to use that time to play and catch up with you, To listen to your stories, play your games (for they must always be your rules) and read you books that you love. You’ve also started showing more interest in words and can recognise quite a few sight words, so these days when we read together, you will suddenly start pointing out and reading words that you recognise. It feels like something has clicked in your head as you slowly pick up more words everyday. You even recently learnt to spell “Legoland”, thanks to our recent trip up. A very important word to learn to spell as your Papa would tell you! More than English though, it is Chinese that you’ve learnt to read really well. You are always pointing out words that you recognise — recently it was all the "福" and “年” on your ang pows — and you love to pull out your Berries book and flash cards to read on your own. I’ve even caught you trying to teach them to your soft toys. “When I grow up, I want to be a Chinese teacher,” you have declared on more than one occasion. Your Papa and I marvel at the fact that you’ve taken to the language so well despite having really minimal exposure to it at home. Long may it continue.

My precious little daughter, my birthday wish for you is that you will always know, like you know now, that your Papa and I love you very very much. That that knowledge would stand you in good stead as you journey through life. That you will walk close to the Lord and grow to be a woman after His own heart. And that you will stare down every challenge with those huge eyes of yours and meet every trial with grace and good humour, knowing that we will always have your back. I used to cringe at parents calling their daughters princess, but that was before you came along. Then I understood. Because you really are our princess, precious and rare. And strong and brave and clever and funny and everything that a princess should be. 

Happy birthday princess.

Loving you always,
Mummy

Being There To Listen

I must admit that on most days, by the time bedtime rolls round, I am eager to pack the kids off to sleep. Already my kids sleep way later than they should -- so late that I'm embarrassed to tell you what time that is! So by the time they get in bed after the reading is done, I'm usually in a hurry for them to just go to sleep already. It's lights out, prayers, and no more talking, thank you very much. I get annoyed when they roll around, ask for water again, and try to prattle on about something.

Then recently, while sorting through my iPhoto library, I stumbled across something I had just about forgotten. It was a recording of a conversation I had with Noey when he was 2, nearly 3 years old. It was actually a video, but there was no picture as it was pitch dark: I had recorded it while chatting with him after lights out at bedtime. And, my goodness, it was the cutest thing. I had forgotten his baby voice, and how he used to refer to himself in third person all the time. I burst out laughing at the sound of his voice gleefully telling me that "Noey wants to beat Lincoln because he is a naughty boy". It was in fact one of the night chats that I used to enjoy so much with him in times past.

It made me stop and wonder how that slowly evolved into today's hurry-hurry-be-quiet routine. Was I missing out on something valuable by not allowing my kids to talk to me at night?

I know I have to make some changes, I must. Before they stop talking to me altogether. I would loathe the day when I would miss out on silly conversations like this:

Me: Noey, did you know that when I was younger I thought I would name my son Ethan?

Noey: Why?

Me: Because I liked the name Ethan! Though not so much now.

Noey: Did you think you of naming Meimei Weethan?

Me: Weethan?

Noey: Yes, because she needs to go to the toilet all the time!

My son. He's growing up to be quite the comedian. And I want him to be having such funny conversations with me as he does just that.

6 Today

He's 6 today, something he's been waiting for for a while now.

"My birthday is coming soon!" he used to shout in April, May, June. No matter how often I told him that October was a pretty long time away, it never put a dent in his enthusiasm.

Well, today was D-Day and he woke up with a big smile, ready to savour it.

I spent some time looking through his old pictures last night and got a bit teary eyed seeing how much he has grown over the past 6 years. It's that eternal mummy-struggle -- wishing your kids would grow quickly to be more independent and yet wishing that they'd stay your little babies at the same time.

He's no longer a baby really, all lanky and stretched out, full of interesting observations and randomly astute remarks. I knew it that day a couple of months back when, at the Botanic Gardens, he asked to go read some displays some distance away and I let him. As he walked away it hit me with a pang that he had grown up. I didn't need to go with him to read him the charts, or make sure he didn't go the wrong way or wander into the path of some cars, and most tellingly, I didn't need to go with him because he wasn't scared. For my somewhat clingy boy, it was a significant thing.

Today, I'm staring at time slipping by and really feeling it. Today I want to say stop. Tarry a while, and be my baby for just a bit longer.



My dear boy, how ever did you grow up so fast?

Bonding With Your Child With Lego

Like most working parents, my husband doesn't get a lot of time with the children during the week. Because of his long and intense working hours, he often arrives home late, after the kids and I are done with dinner. The kids would clamour for his attention and after a hard day's work, I know that oftentimes there is nothing he would like to do better than to simply crash into bed. There are days when he would do exactly that, but more often than not, he lifts his spirits to spend some time bonding with the kids.

Bonding is something which you think would come naturally, but in reality takes time and effort. The benefits however are very real, with studies showing that a strong parent-child bond in the early years is key to a child's emotional development. Children secure in their attachment to their caregivers show a stronger ability to manage stress, form healthier relationships, get better grades in school and have a higher self-esteem. In other words, building a bond with your child has a positive impact on his or her ability to live a well-balanced and fulfilling life.

Of course, benefits aside, the reason why we choose to bond with our children is because we love them. We spend time with them because we want them to know that they matter to us. We do things with them because we think they would enjoy it. This is why we play board games, read, indulge in various sports, enjoy romps in the park, and play with Lego.

Yes, Lego. Because here's the thing. We play with the kids because it's just plain fun for us too. Nothing puts the smile on the faces of my husband and children than being able to bring out a new set, especially one that has been stashed away for them to open at just the right moment for some hours of fun.
I've thought about why Lego has such ageless appeal and I've come to the conclusion that it is the combination of the following factors:

1. It really is child's play. Adult or child, just about anyone can stack two bricks together -- no training or extra tools required. With such a low entry level of skill needed, it is easy to get into the process of building and creation. Don't like what you built? It is just as easy to take it apart and start again.

2. You are limited only by your imagination. I think most of us have had the experience of building with Lego, then after that, taking what we built apart and rebuilding other models, be they spaceships, cars, castles, or combinations of things that defied description. The husband told me that when he was little, there were days when he would grab a fistful or two of Lego, then sit down and challenge himself to use all the pieces he had grabbed to make something interesting. Naturally he ended up with fire engines with wings, houses with wheels, castles with space antennae, and the list went on. You can really build just about anything you want, as long as you have enough bricks.

3. They just keep coming up with really cool lines. While the generic blocks will always play an integral part in the Lego experience, the fact is that from Star Wars, to Super Heroes to Harry Potter to the latest princess series for girls, it is just fascinating to see familiar scenes translated and miniaturised in Lego. My husband himself had his childhood interest in Lego rekindled as an adult by the Lego Star Wars series and he still can't help but marvel at the detailed re-creations of the iconic scenes, characters and machinery.

As for my son, he's been caught up with the Legends of Chima and was recently ecstatic to get his hands on one of the newest products in the Chima line -- Laval's Fire Lion.

"I'm going to build this all by myself", he said excitedly. I had my doubts. After all, the set is intended for children between the ages of 8-14 and looked pretty complicated. And besides, did he really think that his Papa was going to let him get away with playing with new Lego all by himself?

But he was so eager to open the set, I found it hard to say no. So I ended sitting down to start work on the set with him… and fighting him to put it together. (Hah!) No, seriously, I helped where necessary, which honestly, got a little tricky at times! There are those who query the value of building Lego following instructions, but I think there is something to gain from that as well. Perseverance, for one. It took us two to three sittings in total to put Laval's Fire Lion together, including a couple of occasions where we had to go back and re-work bits that didn't seem quite right. This process also trained our eye for detail, as well as taught us to hunt down the parts, distinguish right and left, and to see how everything fits together. Let's also not forget the exercise of our fine motor skills in putting it all together!

Which bring me to my last point about why Lego is so popular:

4. It is just a great toy. Most of the fun is in the building, but even after you've finished building a set in accordance with the instructions, there is still more you can do with it. We found Laval's Fire Lion in particular very playable. It rolls, has articulated joints, and has a cool grabbing function as its arms move to open and extend. It also has a pack over one arm that shoots missiles, much to Noey's delight. We've tried to use its arms to pick stuff up, with some success. We've also dismantled parts of it to take a look at how the joints work. It was a good lesson in mechanics. Of course, the best part was that it is something we can do together -- the building, dismantling, re-building and just having fun. It is the shared experience that, as always, makes the playing extra special.

* This post was first published on Yahoo Parenting on 4 Aug 2014. Read the original article here.

Papa The Volunteer

Term 3 is Project Term over at the kids' kindy.

And of all the topics, what topic should Noey's class choose for their project after brainstorming with their teacher but LEGO! Mei's class chose Duplo. What are the odds of that huh! 

This is all right up my husband's alley of course, so when they asked for parent volunteers, I felt he was obliged to volunteer and contribute to his children's learning, and he gamely agreed to do.

That's how my husband ended up going to school to kindy to talk about his favourite topic.

I think Daddies don't get the opportunity to get involved in the classroom as often as Mummies do, so I know it was pretty special to Noey to have Papa there to share. He was tremendously happy to see us and I thought it was very cute when his teacher got the class to greet the husband as "Uncle D" that at the end of the chorus of greetings, Noey quietly added "I'll call you Papa, ok?". He then happily participated in the session and his Papa and I were both glad to see that he behaved well, raising his hand when he wanted to speak and taking his turn.

When I went to pick the kids up after school, Noey broke into a huge smile when he saw he and told me "I loved Papa's show and tell!" That was, I told my husband, the best validation ever. If I needed an incentive to volunteer to help out more often, well there it was. It was a reminder that we are partners in our children's learning journeys and every part that we can play makes a difference to them. We might teach them content, but more than that, when we make time to be present, we tell them that "you are important to me". (Which reminds me, I'd better check with Mei's teacher to see if she needs us to help out anywhere!)

I'm looking forward to seeing what Noey and his class come up with for their project at the end of term. I'm sure Papa would be proud!

 

Linking up with:

 

The P1 Registration Milestone

I don't think I was quite fully prepared for this milestone of milestones: P1 Registration.

I mean, I was definitely fully prepared where the process was concerned. I read up on the documents required, marked down the relevant date, reminded myself many times not to forget, took out all the necessary documents and set them aside. (I forgot the photocopies but thankfully that was easily rectified at the school bookshop.)

I've been prepared for years, really, having discussed our options many times over with the husband. I was the one who asked him to sign up for his alumni school then practically signed up for him when he wasn't prompt enough with it to my liking. I read up on all the phases so I know them all and the permutations for balloting like the back of my hand. I considered all schools within 1km and 2km of my home, and again when we moved. I asked around and found out what I could about the school we decided on for Noey, even if it was more out of default than a real choice.

On D-Day this Tues, I woke up bright and early, and prepared myself to go down for the morning session to give myself a bit of a buffer just in case we had some issue with our documentation. I woke the husband and we brought Noey along for the ride.

(He spent most of the journey talking about getting $2 for pocket money and all the things he could buy with that. His kindy had arranged a trip to a Primary school for the K2 children  one and clearly the canteen was the big takeaway from the whole experience.)

I was a little taken aback by the number of people in the queue when we got to the school by mid-morning, and we briefly discussed the possibility of a ballot, though I sincerely hoped there was no need for that given that fact that we had NO BACKUP PLAN whatsoever. This was already the earliest possible phase and I didn't expect there to be any prospect of a ballot at all. It was a bit of a nervy wait. Nervy for us, at least. Noey was utterly bored. Guess that's the first and last time I'm bringing a child along for the registration process!

Our hearts were put to rest when we were informed by the admin staff managing the process that the number of alumni members they were expecting to show up for the registration process was less than the number of places available. This count was possible thanks to a very efficient system the alumni had of issuing letters to those intending to register their children for next year's intake. Since there were more places than letters issued, a ballot was not expected. We heaved a quiet sigh of relief.

Barring any totally unseen and catastrophic event, our P1 registration is done and dusted.

I guess that's when it started sinking in. I was prepared. But now, I realise, I'm not really ready. I'm not ready to take my baby out of the nurturing environment of kindy and shove him into the big bad world. How can it be that he's going to P1 already?? I mentioned these to my husband only to have him smile at my sentimentality. "He'll be alright, he'll grow up," he said kindly.

I know he will, even as I know that I will just have to entrust him to God, knowing that He who cares for Noey infinitely more than I do will walk with him down this path. It is an exciting journey. I just have a bit more preparing to do, this time, in my heart and on my knees.

Motherhood Is Gain:12 Benefits of Being A Mummy

 

A fellow Mum sent the above cartoon to a Whatsapp group I'm in as a Mother's Day greeting and I had to laugh. And promptly send it on to other Mums. Because it is quite true, isn't it? A Mum's job is tough and it never ends. 

But I think sometimes, we get a little too caught up with how hard and tiring motherhood can be and we forget to talk about how great it is too. Yes, motherhood is one of the toughest and most important jobs around, but it is also one of the most satisfying and rewarding ones too. 

As I reflected on my 5-going-on-6 years as a Mum this Mother's Day, I decided to come up with a list of benefits I've reaped from being a Mummy. This is what I've gained:

• I appreciate my own parents more, especially my mother. Not just for what they do for me, which now extends to their grandkids, but being a Mummy myself has filled in the gaps in my understanding as to why my parents did certain things in the past. Especially stuff that I disliked but that was "for my own good". Yes, I now find myself saying the same thing to my own kids. I know I am still the delinquent daughter but I am trying.
  
  
• It has helped me to understand God's love for his children and has strengthened my relationship with Him. It was only after I became a Mummy did I even start to understand the depth of a Father's love for his son. What a great sacrifice it must have been for the Lord God to allow Christ to die for the atonement of our sins! And how immense the depth of love that He must have for us, those who are redeemed by the blood of Christ. Wow.
  
  
• It has opened my eyes what it must be like for an infinite and all-knowing God to relate to Man. This was an interesting revelation that came to me as I tried to explain things to my kids as simply as I could, within their limited knowledge and vocabulary. I watched Noey insist that he understands something from the simplified explanation that I gave him and I know from where I stand now that there are so many gaps in his understanding, but also it is good enough for him for now, because he simply cannot understand more at this point. This must be how it is for God communicating his messages to us. It has helped me to better accept that there are things I might not understand now, but which I might, with greater maturity. And how there may be some things that I may never understand on this side of eternity.
  
  
• I have a greater desire to find my roots and to know more about my own family. Maybe this is also because I'm getting old, but with each new generation comes the desire to know more about those who came before. I've become more keen on traditions to pass on and histories that make us who we are. 
  
  
• I have become much more compassionate and understanding. Especially to other folks who have kids who act up embarrassingly in restaurants, shops, lifts… On a more serious note, I cannot read a piece of news involving a child and not feel it on a personal level.
  
  
• I get to see the ordinary with new eyes. Being an old, seasoned and jaded adult, it is a breath of fresh air seeing the kids discover things that I have taken for granted. The pleasure they take in playing with mimosa, for example, or just enjoying a ride through the park.
  
  
• I get to be a child again. I get to play -- yay! And kids now seem to have a lot more play options which have me itching to participate! From museums to indoor playgrounds to the great outdoors… more often than not, there is something in it especially for the kids. They are so lucky! I admit that half the time when I bring the kids to check out events, it's really because I want to try them out myself.
  
  
• I get to buy cute stuff and toys! With this point and the one above, you can tell I haven't grown up, notwithstanding the fact that I'm a mum of two. Haha. But all those pretty clothes! Shoes! All that Lego we've got! I also recently got myself a rainbow loom. Hee. Noey's been quite keen on it but honestly, I bought it for me. The kids are my excuse.
  
  
• Kids can be endless entertainment. Of course they can be endless pain as well but man, sometimes they totally crack me up and say the funniest things.
  
  
• I have my own two minions. Case in point:
  
   
• THE CUDDLES. For me, it's the opportunity to kiss my little girl's fat cheeks whenever I feel like it, which is pretty much every time I pick her up. And while I might complain about the kids treating me like a pillow or a bed, when they throw my arms around me for a tight squeeze, it's the best feeling in the world.
  
  
• There is nothing like seeing a life develop before your eyes. It's amazing to watch these little beings grow into their own person. To see how they are like you and yet also not like you. Witness all the firsts and celebrate little joys. Yes, the circle of life and all that.

 **********

We didn't make a big deal about Mother's Day on this year as that was the day we flew to Bali for a short holiday. But the husband decided the following Saturday to have a make-up Mother's Day celebration. He woke up bright and early (which is VERY rare for him), and rallied the troops to make a card, buy some flowers and make a simple breakfast for me. He's such a sweetheart, I know. I didn't think much about missing Mother's Day really but on that Saturday, it felt really nice to be appreciated.

My breakfast with the tomatoes Meips washed and the strawberries Noey cut and the ham that Meips helped to squeeze honey on to and Noey helped grill. And which Meips reassuringly told me that they would "help (me) eat, alright?"

Mother's Day might have been a time intended for my children to thank me their Mummy for what I've done for them but at this time, I want to also say thank you kids, for what you've done for me.

8 Activities for the Weekend

The weekend's near! Have you got any plans yet? 

If you haven't and are looking for some ideas, I'm sharing a list of some of our favourite weekend activities on Yahoo! Parenting this week!

And here's a funny story about this list: I had jotted down some ideas for this article on a piece of paper, and when I came back to it after some time, I was very tickled to see that someone had gone through the list and indicated his approval.

So you know -- this meets Noey's exacting standards! Click here to hop over if you need some inspiration and have a great weekend!

 

I'm On Yahoo! Parenting!

I wasn't expecting much out of 2014, but I have to admit, it's been interesting.

One of the more exciting things to have happened recently is that I'm now a contributor to Yahoo! Parenting! This is a new portal on Yahoo! with articles of interest to parents. In the next few months, I will be contributing articles related to creativity, imagination, and play, and while I get antsy thinking about deadlines, I'm enjoying the opportunity to talk a little about things I don't always get round to talking about on this blog. 

My first couple of articles have been published and thankfully, generally well-received:

1. Why Play Matters

2. Why Nurture Your Child's Imagination

My already busy schedule has gotten a bit busier, but this is something I want to do for me (and ok, also for my husband and son, since Lego is the current sponsor!) and I'm making time for this to see how it works out. I was thinking of taking on more work this year since I have a couple of hours in the morning when the kids are at school, and providentially, this landed in my lap. I couldn't be more grateful. Wish me luck! 

Three

My dearest Meips,

Today, you are three. You raise three fingers when asked how old you are, the third finger coming up more slowly than the other two, as you get used to the idea of being a year older. "This is three, right?" you asked proudly. I think you've been waiting a long time for the day.

I sometimes wonder: has it really been only three years since you've come into our lives? You've come to fill our lives and our home with the force of your personality (and your loud voice) and we can't imagine our lives without you. No one can resist picking you up and hugging and kissing you when you are within reach. You usually struggle away, but once in a while you'll throw your arms around me and give me a kiss with a sweet "I love you Mummy", and I can assure you that, for me, that is one of the best feelings in the world. 

You've grown up so much in the past year, as evidenced by the fact that you started school this year and shed nary a tear. Never have I seen a child make a calmer entrance into school. It wasn't that you weren't afraid. In the beginning, I could sense your uncertainty, but you put on a brave front and carried on. It must have been a bit overwhelming to start, with new teachers and unfamiliar faces around you. Your English teacher is also away on maternity leave this term so your school day has been conducted primarily in Chinese, a language you are unfamiliar with. But you've adapted so well.

These days you are always singing Chinese songs at home (小手拍拍 and 早安老师 being your current favourites, 恭喜恭喜 last month) and will insist on singing grace in Chinese at every meal. You don't get all the words right but you get more accurate as the days go by. You learnt all the names of your classmates within a month and get really excited when you see them anywhere, and will quickly turn to me to tell me, "That's my friend!" And you really love school and your teacher. There hasn't been a day when you've objected to going to school. In fact, you really want to go everyday. "What are we doing tomorrow?" you asked me one Saturday. "It's Sunday tomorrow, Mei-mei, so we're going to go to church," I said in reply. "And then after that we'll go to school?" you said hopefully.

Li Laoshi told me that you're very sensible (懂事) and she never has to worry about you in class as you know how to follow along and do what is necessary. I am so proud of you and how well you're doing in this regard. Sometimes I think it's funny how well you've taken to school considering how you refuse to believe anything I say when I try to teach you something at home that is contrary to what you think you know. Perhaps it's because I'm not your teacher, just Mummy. May you always keep up that enthusiasm for school and learning as you grow up.

On the home front, you've also grown by leaps and bounds. You're completely potty trained, even at night, so we are now completely off-diapers in this household. After you got proficient with using the potty, you basically just decided that you didn't want to use diapers any more, day or night. Your Daddy believed you could do it. "At most, she can't do it and we'll put her diaper back on," he said casually, while I not-so-silently freaked out about the fact that it was my bed you were going to be wetting (since you were sleeping with me at that time) and that I was the one who always had to wake up to mop up the bed and change the sheets should there be an incident. But you were determined. "I'm not going to pee," you said. And even though you had yet to turn in a dry diaper in the morning, against my better judgment, I let you try going diaperless. Of course, I barely slept a wink that night. I was so sure you were going to wet the bed. Except that you didn't. And you continued to stay dry night after night till I realised that you really were well and truly diaper-free.

That was four months ago. Till this day, you have only wet the bed maybe three or four times. Once when you couldn't get off the bed in time to get to the potty and twice because you were probably just too tired. Thank you for making it so easy.

In other ways too, you've continued to show your independent streak. You insist on picking your on clothes and there really isn't much we can do to stop you since you can change entirely on your own. Yes, you can pull t-shirts off you own head and put them on, you can do and undo buttons, pull up and down your pants and put on your own socks. The only thing you can't do is probably reach your dresses because they are hanging too high up. It's not surprising to see you coming out of the room wearing a different outfit because you decided that you wanted to change. You are also rather adept at feeding yourself. I still can't believe you can do all that because it took your brother much longer to master those skills.

I often feel like you learnt to do things on your own because you had to. Not a day goes by that I do not feel guilty for not giving you all the attention that you need. With Gor-gor's homework and Gor-gor's piano practice and having to send Gor-gor for classes, I find that you are always patiently waiting for me to have the time to bring you to the playground or for a swim. We'll do more together this year, I promise. I too know that your childhood doesn't wait around forever.

In the meantime, do stay the funny, adventurous, independent, lively little girl that you are. We love you, sweetheart. Happy 3rd Birthday.

Love always and beyond and to the moon and back,
Mummy.

K2: No More Fun and Games

Now that Noey is in K2, the homework has, sad to say, increased. He brings home homework twice a week from school: a couple of pages of Math exercises and a book review on Thursday which is to be completed by Monday, and Chinese writing and a Chinese comprehension exercise based on an accompanying Chinese reader on Monday, to be completed by Thursday. (And the cycle continues.)

Add to that the little bit of homework he gets from Berries and Music class and I feel like I'm barking at him everyday to do his homework. It isn't fun, not for me or him, or Meips for that matter, since I would then have to leave her to her own devices while I breathe down Noey's neck as he does his work - he's the sort who would be off his chair or playing with his Lego the minute I turn my attention away - or coaching Noey at piano. And this is only kindergarten!

I've been praying for a breakthrough and I hope I'm not speaking too soon, but recently he's started to show a bit more initiative for completing his work. This started after DD had a chat with him about "not being lousy". In other words, to not be lazy, to put in effort and to not waste the gifts he's been blessed with by God. There were tears but at least Noey took it seriously.

A few days later he came up with this schedule for himself, which I was rather tickled by:

I think he was rather hopeful about the TV part (I still restrict their screen time to a few days a week) but at least he's got his priorities straight!

DD has introduced him to studying at Macs, taking him there to complete his homework. Not surprisingly, he was very enthusiastic!

Sorry kiddo, K2 is no longer fun and games. Primary school awaits and hopefully this will help you once the real work starts.

Do you have trouble getting your kids to sit down to do their homework? What are some strategies that have worked for you?

 

The End of Co-Sleeping

2014 is turning out to be a milestone year. And this is probably the biggest thing to happen this year, thus far:

Ladies and gentlemen, my kids are FINALLY SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN BEDS!!

So yes, now you know our rather embarrassing little secret, which is that right up to the start of this year, we were still co-sleeping with our kids. Actually, scratch that. I was co-sleeping with the kids while my husband gratefully escaped onto the mattress on the floor that was meant for Noey. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't too fussed about the sleeping arrangements. But after being trapped between wriggly children while putting them to sleep and being squeezed out my lovely king-sized bed once too often, I had had enough. And after listening to my complaints numerous times, the husband also agreed that it was best if we settled the kids into their own room. 

We bit the bullet, cleared out one of our rooms, hauled ourselves down to Ikea during the year-end sale, and forced ourselves to decide on two beds and mattresses for the kids. Then we brought the kids down on a separate occasion to choose their own sheets.

Of course, me being me, the whole process wasn't without its little hiccups. Like how I had grandly waved off the need to pay $30 for the assembly of the beds, only to open the boxes and find that the first step required me to screw in 22 screws to attach metal tracks to the wood. Yup, that's 22 screws for one bed. I pressed on anyway because I'm stubborn like that, and wow, was my hand aching after I was done!

I was pretty proud of the fact that I managed to assemble the bed all on my own! But I got the husband to build the second one, which he did… after buying a power drill to help with the screws. Hah.

The kids were very enthusiastic about the whole process, and when we were done, they were very excited about their new bedroom. But of course, the test was whether they'd sleep in their beds. Noey, my older but more clingy child was immediately alarmed about the move but we managed to appease him by assuring him that Mummy would in the same room for a while, though I would not be sleeping with them. On the first night, they managed to settle and while Noey did wake and need me to put him back to sleep, Meips slept well. And they've been sleeping in their own beds since. "Wow, this is like staying in a hotel!" sighed Noey, a couple of days after moving in.

It's not been painless, naturally. The good news is that they have not awakened in the middle of the night and wandered across the corridor to our room as we thought they might have. The bad news is that they yell for me instead. And I have to hurry over or the noise would wake the other child and both would need me to put them back to sleep. So I've since resurrected my baby monitor and uninterrupted sleep remains elusive. But thankfully they ease back to sleep quickly and it's not happened more than once a night. I'm optimistic it'll get better. It will, right?

In the meantime, I'm finally going to break out the nice mattress pad from my sister and BIL, and lovely sheets that I've been hoarding to celebrate!

Enjoying Her Two-ness

As we wound down the year, two thoughts kept re-playing in my head: 

1. That my daughter is really so impossibly cute; and

2. That I'm really going to miss having her around in the mornings when she starts school.

Because yes, she starts school today. I am one part anxious, one part excited, and another part wistful that my little constant companion will no longer be there with me every morning. I have to admit that more often than not, I'm happy when she's off playing on her own in the mornings, and I heave a not-so-silent sigh when she looks at me and beseeches me to take her along with me on my morning runs with cries of "I want to follow yooooou!" Now, with school marking an end to our mornings alone, I've started to regret not treasuring those times more. Such is life, isn't it, that we start to appreciate what we have only when it threatens to be taken away?

So over the past few weeks, I took the time to savour the last of our Mummy-and-Meimei mornings. I took her along on my errands whenever she wanted to follow me, and I spent my time just being with her and watching her. Enjoying her carefree 2-year-old-ness.

Today, she joins to her brother at kindy, marking the start of her schooling journey. I am not worried about her adapting -- she's familiar with the school environment and will have Noey with her. Instead, I think it's me who will have some adjustment issues. Then again, I can't say I'm not thrilled about having nearly 3 hours to myself every morning!

My little-big girl, how you've grown.

Our Advent with PlayMo

We've moved right along in December and Christmas is fast approaching! 

I wanted to share a bit about what we're doing for Advent as I've been having fun with this year's Advent calendar (of sorts). Truth be told, I've not been very consistent about it. I'm embarrassed to admit that despite my good intentions, I've been doing the opposite and getting caught up with the things I said I wanted to avoid. Not good at all. It's only in the past week that I've taken some time to re-align myself and I hope be able to see out the rest of the year in good form.

We started Advent a little late as we were away on a cruise during the early part of December. But while we were away, the husband helped me put together a box, out of Lego, naturally.

This was to be our Advent "calendar". How it works is very simple: Every day, I would hide the box and the kids would do a treasure hunt to find it. And what would they find inside? 

A piece of our nativity scene. In this case, it's the angel Gabriel. I selected pieces to represent different parts of the Christmas story. I had this grand plan to build a nativity out of Lego, only to remember that we had purchased a Playmobil nativity after Christmas last year. (Yes, it was on discount!) So rather than re-invent the wheel, we're using the Playmobil set.

So we started with the angel Gabriel who appeared to Mary to tell her of the blessing she was about to receive, to bear a son conceived of the Holy Spirit. The next day the kids were given Mary and we read of her song of praise to the Lord. Following that, they got Joseph and we read the portion of scripture where Joseph was troubled and the angel visits. And so on.

I used the following suggested readings from a BSF handout guide, expanding and using other passages to supplement these as appropriate:

Suggested reading of the Christmas story

• A Saviour King is Promised -- Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7; Jeremiah 23:5; Micah 5:2-5a
• The Angel Visits Mary -- Luke 1:26-38
• The Angel Visits Joseph -- Matthew 1:18-25
• The Trip to Bethlehem and Stable Lodging -- Luke 2:1-7
• The Christ Child is Born --  Luke 2:6-7
• The Angels Visit the Shepherds -- Luke 2:8-14
• The Shepherds Visit the Manger -- Luke 2: 15-18
• The Wise Men Travel to Jerusalem -- Matthew 2:1-8
• The Wise Men Worship the Christ Child -- Matthew 2:9-12
• The Trip to Egypt -- Matthew 2:13-15

Some of the truths to share with the children from these readings

• Christmas is the day we celebrate the Lord Jesus' birthday
• Long ago, God promised to send a Saviour King
• God promised that the Saviour King would be born in Bethlehem
• God always keeps His promises
• Christmas is the time God kept His promise to send a Saviour
• Mary was the Lord Jesus' mother, but His Father was the Almighty God in heaven
• God shows people how to find the Lord Jesus
• God always knows what is best for His people

Like I said, I have not been very consistent, but the kids have done a good job reminding me about their "Playmo box" as they called it, and asking me to get it ready for them to hunt down. Our nativity has thus filled out nicely.

There are still a few pieces to go but we're nearly there. As for my kids, I think they've learnt something along the way too. They've enjoyed messing around with the pieces, for sure!

Looking forward to Christmas!

Five Priorities This Christmas

Now that we're approaching end-November, there's a tingle in the air that, coupled with the wet weather around us, makes it clear that Christmas is coming!

Our tree is up and I'm looking forward to soaking in the festivities, reflecting on the year gone by and celebrating the reason for the season. Christmas is significantly more than just a  festive holiday to us as Christians and I appreciate the opportunity to turn our focus to the great gift we have been given with the birth of the Saviour. With this in mind, here are five words which encapsulate my priorities this Christmas season:

1. Teach

The children are of an age where they are both able to understand and get excited about Christmas, and it's important to me that they are excited about the right reasons, and not just the presents that they are going to get or the goodies that they are going to eat. Teaching the kids the Christmas story is something I'm greatly looking forward to. It's not that they don't know it. We've read the stories many times in their children's bible and Noey has certainly memorised chunks of it, thanks to the fact that his kindy year-end concert was on the nativity. But Christmas is always a good time to re-tell the tale and reinforce some truths. I've come across some good tips on this which I will be sharing next week.

2. Share

Of all the things we are called to share, surely it must be the sharing of the good news of Christ that is the most important. And what better time than this! I admit I often feel a bit hesitant to say anything for fear of imposing, but I've told myself that I must just start talking, for if everyone was like me, no one would hear.

It is also an opportunity to share with the less-fortunate in our midst, and we're looking forward to supporting The Boys' Brigade Share-A-Gift project again this year, as we did last year. They've started collecting donations at various NTUC Fairprice, Xtra and Finest outlets. Not all, so do check out the donation locations on their website and support this worthwhile cause. 

3. Love

All you need is love, they say. I think it'd be more so for me now when I have two children on my hands all day everyday for 6 weeks! More patience and love would go a long way, me thinks. Love too, for our neighbours and those around us. So I'm going to be enlisting the kids to write notes and make little gifts for friends and family, but also to spread a little cheer around to those we know and those we don't, as inspired by this little kindness adventure. I'm quite excited about that -- and the fact that it's a good excuse to get Noey to do some writing practice!

4. Reflect

Reflecting is much overlooked with our constant need - ok, my constant need - to be on the go. I admittedly don't stop to reflect often enough, but the end of the year is a good time to take stock, and be thankful for what we've been blessed with. And one great occasion we've found to do this is 冬至 (i.e. the Winter Solstice). Usually a few days before Christmas, it's a good time to sit down as a family and think about what we have to be thankful for. And yes, eat 汤圆! It's a little tradition we have and I'm looking forward to it again this year.

5. Give

Giving, I think, not just with our money but with our time and effort. Another way in which we will be supporting the Boys' Brigade Share-A-Gift project is by volunteering with friend to deliver the food hampers to the needy. I signed up last year but alas, the kids fell ill before then and we were not able to take part. So we're trying again this year.

We're also going to be participating in #GivingTuesdaySG, happening on December 3! A campaign to create a national day of giving at the start of the annual year-end holiday season, it celebrates and encourages charitable activities that support non-profit organisations. Not heard about it? Read more about it here. There are plenty of campaigns and initiatives by non-profits and corporates we'll be checking out to try to do our part.

And as an extra bonus, as one of my small ways of giving back, I'm also going to be doing a little giving right here in the form of some giveaways. Yes, starting this Tuesday, I'm going to be doing 4 GIVEAWAYS from now till Christmas, one for every week.

Some of these have been kindly sponsored by the wonderful retailers and business owners that I've been working with, but one will be sponsored by yours truly, to thank you all for being such wonderful readers and for supporting this blog. The truth is, I sacrifice a lot of sleep to write, since it's pretty much impossible to write anything meaningful while the kids are awake. But I do it because I genuinely enjoy it. I've always been the journalling kind and this space offers me the perfect outlet. I started out writing just for myself, but I met others and received so much in return. Not just Items and opportunities for my family, which I greatly appreciate, but more than that, friendships, especially with other Mums, both bloggers and readers. It's helped me keep my social circle vibrant even though I'm mostly stuck at home with two children, and I'm thankful for that. Who says you can't make good friends online huh!

So yes, I'm excited to be giving back and I hope you are! Do come back every week to see what we've got in store for you. (It's not huge -- sorry, not big enough a blog for that! -- but I hope to have a little something for everyone.)

And with all that, I think I'm ready for Christmas! 

 

Linking up with: 

The Bedtime Story Ritual

Bedtime stories are a daily ritual in this house. The kids MUST get a book or two (or three or ten, pleeeeese Mummy??) before they go to sleep, or there'd be unhappiness all round.

I'm glad they love books but boy, does it get tiring for me to read books one after another. Especially when they usually don't agree with the other's choice of books so Mummy has to read double the quota. Meips is the sort of child who must read her favourite book-of-the-moment over and over, reading session after reading session, day after day,so I can't blame Noey for objecting to their precious story time being used on the same book they've already heard a million times. It even drives me a bit batty too.

Now that Noey is an independent reader, there have been many occasions when I am tempted to just ask him to read on his own. He's actually so competent a reader that I take it for granted that he can read any word he comes across. He frequently pulls out books to read on his own, but when he comes up to me with a book in hand, I try very hard not to turn him down. He loves me to read to him, and so I do. And except on days when I'm ready collapse come bedtime, I actually really enjoy it. 

So I was very glad to come across this article on Babble with seven reasons why you should be obsessed about reading to your kids. The points made by the author reaffirmed a lot of what I do and what I believe about reading to my children, identifying these reasons for reading aloud:

1. It's time spent together.
2. It's a conversation starter.
3. It's a great way to talk about emotional health.
4. It's a great way to honour the individuality of your children.
5. You can open up new worlds for your kids.
6. You get a wealth of information on where your children might need help.
7. It can lead to a lifelong love of reading in your kids.

I enjoy reading to the kids because it's a time we can spend together doing something that I love to do. I do the voices, and I get Noey to read parts, and it's a lot of fun. And I realised recently that now that when the kids read aloud, that sound like me in tone and inflection. Haha. Noey knows to stress and slow down words written in caps or italics, to end correctly when asking a question, and to up the volume for exclamation marks. I'm sure my mother, who often comments that Singaporean kids read and speak with a really flat tone, would approve. (She was a teacher and it's an occupational hazard!)

Another thing I love about reading aloud to my kids is the fact that it's given me the opportunity to re-visit old favourites from the past.  We started on covering some chapter books recently and Noey's been loving Roald Dahl. Our current read is Mathilda. I've always liked that one though it sure doesn't paint a very favourable view of adults! But I'm glad that it gives me an opportunity to discuss themes like how good triumphs over evil, and also that of power and revenge. All with Roald Dahl's trademark humour, which can be above Noey's comprehension. I love seeing his eyes light up as I explain puns and irony and get him to see beyond the plain text.

The only issue with reading chapter books is that these hold little interest for Meips, who would sometimes get restless and go do her own thing. It's ok when Papa is around to step in at bedtime, but otherwise, I do feel a little bad about that. I'm hoping with time, she'll come to understand more, but in the meantime, we continue mixing it up a bit with picture books so that Meips too can be a part of the action. Because reading is fun, and I want them both to know that.

(Or maybe I should get this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Pop-Up Book from The Groovy Giraffe, which I think will capture both their attentions? The "GET5OFF" code to get an additional 5% off this book and all other books on the website still applies by the way!)

Still, while I relish my role as the main bedtime story reader, when an opportunity arises for me to outsource that duty to my assistant, it does give me a bit of a thrill.

Gor-gor reads to Mei-mei and Mummy takes pictures! Win.

I'll end this post with cute video of Meips "reading". She can't really read of course, but little miss bossy pants just loves pretending to! She actually told a way more interesting story but I was too slow in pulling out my camera. So all I got was this clip.

I hope bedtime stories are a part of our daily routine for a long time to come!

5 years into Our Parenting Journey

I've heard it said that becoming a parent might be easy enough, but being a parent is probably the hardest job in the world.

Even as we celebrated Noey's 5th birthday two weeks ago, the husband and I marked a milestone of our own -- our 5th year of parenthood. Sometimes, I can't believe it's only been 5 years. I look at my two children and I feel like I've known them forever. And yet, I know we have come a long way these 5 years.

I still remember how on Noey's first night back home from the hospital, he woke up in the middle of the night and cried and fussed for more than an hour for no apparent reason, and totally freaked out his newbie parents. Over time we learnt to deal with it all. The breastfeeding, the sleep training (or lack thereof), and the handling a tot that just wasn't that interested in his food. The tantrums and the bouts of separation anxiety. The "whys" and now, the "why nots". We even threw another baby into the mix and had to learn a totally different way to parent.

To say that it's been challenging is an understatement that only another parent would understand.

And yet, if I could choose and re-live my life, I would choose them, my children, again and again.

So it was kind of apt that we marked this 5 year milestone by appearing in a couple of parenthood ads that are currently being screened on TV.

You might have seen us in our almost three-seconds of fame -- I've certainly gotten a few queries from friends with sharp eyes! Yes, that is me and my kids at 0:27-0:29 in the above clip, which features a Dad's parenting journey.

We didn't know what to expect of the final outcome since we only knew of our own segments, and I can tell you that my heart was in my mouth when I was given an unexpected preview of the ads at an informal discussion group that I attended. In front of some friends and a whole bunch of other people I didn't know, no less! But my fears were unfounded -- the ads were beautifully shot, capturing moments that every parent would be able to identify with. After all, we know that parenthood is not only made up of happy smiles and moments, but also the tears and the difficult moments. My favourite scenes in the ad above - aside from the one in which we appear, naturally - are the clips that show a boy crying while being made to do homework, and the other of a Dad juggling a fretful baby that he's trying to feed in one hand, using his chin to prop up the bottle while reaching for something else with the other hand. The first is an occurrence that still happens today, and the second, well, that really brought back memories.

There's also a different version that features the parenting journey from a Mum's perspective. We appear at 0:29-0:31 of this clip.

(We even appear on the thumbnail in this version, with narration.)

If you're wondering "Where's DD?", his hand is the one whipping off the blanket at the start of our scene.

It was certainly an interesting experience being involved in this shoot. The director (Royston Tan) and the crew were all extremely professional and friendly, and as an added bonus, I even bumped into an old church friend, who was the makeup artist for the day. We got changed - those were all our own clothes - and Mummy got some light makeup before the director called us aside to show us a short clip of what was expected. After that, we were up!

Our scene was simple: Noey, Meips and I were to hide under a blanket, DD would pull it away and we would all laugh. It was only 3 seconds. Shouldn't be difficult, no? Especially since the kids love peekaboo. To help get the kids chuckling, the crew provided DD with a whole bunch of different disguises and headgear, which he would swop for each take to surprise the kids. I actually expected Noey to give me some issues because he is my less accommodating child, but instead, it was he who really got into it. "Oh, this is going to be bad!" he giggled excitedly as we hid under the covers. And every time we whipped off the covers, there was no need to direct him -- he was always laughing away. 

Not so Meips. After we did it the first time, she frowned, gave her trademark "No!" followed by "It's not funny!" Oh dear. So, I was forced to tickle her. Yup, that was part of the movie magic! It still didn't go down so well with her but thankfully, we got a couple of takes that were good enough.

So there, that's the summary of what went on behind the scenes of our first-ever TV appearance. And you know what? I'm glad we got to do it as a family.

5 years of being a parent down, and many more to go. The challenges, they keep changing, with every age and with every child. At least, I know that we can do it, together, DD and I, by the grace of God. And we sure are going to try our best to enjoy, well, probably not every moment, but as much of it as we can. Being a Mummy has been a gift. Thank you my babies, for being mine.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

On the eve of Children's Day, a friend tagged me on HeyBaby SG's Facebook Page, asking me to take some time to celebrate the children in my life by noting down up to five unique characteristics of each child.

It seemed simple enough. After all, don't I know my kids better than the back of my hand?

But the truth was that as I sat, phone in hand, ready to jot down some adjectives about my kids, the first ones that popped into my head were all negative. "Clingy", "Fierce", "Overly-Sensitive", "Bossy". Hmmm. I wasn't exactly celebrating them, was I?

I guess as parents, particularly as the parent who is home facing them 24/7, it is easy to focus on the negative. After all, negative behaviour is what I have to deal with all the time. But when I made a concerted effort to look beyond that, I remember that my children are multifaceted different characters. And that while there plenty of ways which I would want them to change, they also have qualities which are worthy of praise. I know that my darling boy is intelligent, artistic and loving, and my precious baby girl is independent, compassionate and oh-so-funny. I just needed to take the time to remember that.

(Image taken from the HeyBaby SG Facebook Page)

My dear children, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and I thank God for letting me be your Mummy.

On the Cusp of 5

Dear Noey,

Even as you turn 5 tomorrow I remember the very day you were born, way back on 2^nd October 2008. You were blue and purple and had a layer of fine, oh so fine baby hair all over you. Your eyes were open and alert (little did we know at that time that you hate closing them to sleep, even now), and you gurgled a little baby gurgle when Mummy cradled you to her, to hold you in her arms for the first time.

 

When it was my turn to hold you I could hardly believe that God had given us a little living, breathing, wrinkly baby – you. I brought you outside to weigh you and to take your measurements (which you didn’t particularly enjoy). But all was well when you were wrapped up in the towels of the delivery ward, safe and cosy, your open and alert eyes scanning the room and wondering what this new world around you was, with its bright lights and strange sounds.

 

You will certainly not remember a single bit of what happened that day – your true birth day – but Mummy and I always will. You see, it’s our job to remember these things because these memories are precious to us, just as precious as how we remember your face when we are far away from you, or why we remember the meaning of your name.

 

These are good memories for us.

 

As time passes and moves on, and Mummy and I become old and forgetful, we may not be able to remember every event and every single birthday you have had or will have. But we will try our best to remember the important things. And at that time, when you are grown, you can remember things for us too.

 

But for now, just know, and remember in your heart, that Mummy and I love you and we will always love you. We love you because God gave you to us, to care for you, to teach you and to bring you up. And of course, always remember that God loves you too. He loved you so much, that he sent Jesus – his only begotten Son – to come to earth for you.   

 

Happy birthday, my dear son, I love you so. This year, I hope you grow in height, in character and in fullness of wisdom and knowledge. And remember that, when you were five, your Mummy and Daddy thought the world of you.

Love,

Papa

A Date with just Mum and Dad

I must admit that I often feel guilty about the amount of time we spend with Meips -- or rather, not spend. While it is true that she is with me a lot as I go about my daily activities, my attention is frequently focused elsewhere as I run my errands and buy my groceries. Noey is in school for those short precious 3-hours, and then he's home, demanding my attention with homework to complete and piano practice to get through.

I am acutely aware of the far that the second child is, in many ways, short-changed of that dedicated attention of both parents that their first-born sibling took for granted. And yes, the mummy-guilt strikes, especially when I again have to tell my precious little girl to wait cos "Mummy's helping Gor-gor with something".

So when DD took some time off randomly last Monday, I seized the opportunity to bring Meips on a date with just Mum and Dad, sans Gor-gor. (He was in school anyway so he wouldn't have known any better!) We kept it simple and took off for the park, one of her favourite places.

There, she was able to scooter-skate to her heart's content. She's really good at it, this little girl, and she's fast! We checked out the swans, found a millipede, and generally hung out. And I lapped up my little baby. The significance of the solo attention probably escaped her -- she was happy enough just being with Mummy and Daddy. I did notice that she did not ask for Gor-gor though. 

It isn't often that we both get to spend time with our baby alone, and indeed, the opportunities will get more infrequent, especially when she starts school next year. So I savoured the morning, I did. And made a promise to myself to schedule in regular solo dates with each child, perhaps when they grow a little older -- and Meips stops howling when I leave the house without her!

Mummy and Daddy love you little Meips!