Behind The Scenes: Writing Process Blog Hop

Today, I'm going to be introducing you to what goes on behind-the-scenes (or in-front-of-the-screen, really) on this blog as part of a little blog hop that I'm participating in. I was supposed to post this a few weeks ago, but I figured it's better late than never!

I was introduced to this blog hop by my friend Lyn, a Mum with two lovely girls who blogs at Little Blue Bottle. Lyn and I first connected over the fact that our first-borns are born within days of each other. We then came to realise that we attended the same secondary school and had a number of common friends. Our kids have been growing up together since they were a few months old and it's been amazing seeing them grow from wee bubs to the little ladies and little men that they are now. You can read Lyn's Writing Process Blog Hop post here.

I haven't done a blog hop in a while, and that's mainly because I've been too bogged down to volunteer for them! Indeed, I'm way behind schedule on this one too, but I was attracted to this because it asked some questions that I've been asking of myself recently too. Plus I thought it might be interesting to show you what I do, considering how blogging has become a big part of my life.

Here is where most of my work gets done:

I sadly don't have a proper workspace, so my laptop is truly on my lap most times as I camp on this couch in a corner of my bedroom. I alternate between sitting in this corner and on my bed as I try to put my thoughts to paper. The truth is, it's been twice as hard to blog since I've stopped working in an office. I don't have a desk and computer to sit at where I can periodically jot down my thoughts uninterrupted. And this uninterruption is key! I now usually write at the end of the day, and needless to say, I sacrifice a lot of sleep to blog. It isn't always easy, but I continue doing it because I love it -- for the friends I've made and for more recently, for the opportunities it's given me. I guess I should be thankful that I've always considered sleep negotiable! (And I wonder why my kids feel the same way…)

1. What am I working on?

It always feels like I'm working on a million drafts at the same time. So right now, I'm working on clearing some of my outstanding commitments and updating on some of our recent activities and parenting stories on the blog. I also have a blog anniversary post and giveaway which is in the works that I'm pretty excited about. Other than this blog, I've also got several stories for Yahoo Parenting on my schedule too. And recently, some friends and I have started Petite Travellers, a new collaborative family travel blog which we hope to grow into a resource for family-friendly holidays. It's been exciting working together and it's been a great ride so far. (Yes, I have a lot on my plate!)

2. How does my work differ from others in its genre?

That is a good question, and one that I've been asking myself as well. I think much of what I write is similar to what you get on other mummy blogs. Much as I dislike the classification, that's what this blog has grown to become, no thanks to my full-time employment at home. I think I bring my own perspective to the table. I try to choose things to write about which I have a personal connection with, or a personal story to tell, so my blog is very much an extension of me. People who read me have often commented upon meeting me that I'm exactly what they expected. So my blog is different in the way that I am different as a person, and I like to think that my writing reflects who I am. WYSIWYG.

3. Why do I write what I do?

I started out writing this blog for myself and my most faithful reader, my husband. Along the way, the kids came along, the audience grew, and my focus changed. But it has always been for the same reason that I write -- to celebrate the big events and small moments. This blog has been a precious record of things that matter to me, over the past 8 years that I've been writing. I think I lost my focus a bit recently and I've come to realise that I no longer have the luxury of time to write what I have to and what I want to. Often, what I want to write about gets sacrificed as I try to meet my writing commitments. I've therefore promised myself that going forward, I'm going to focus more on what I love -- recipes, books, and stories. I'm looking forward to that.

4. How does my writing process work?

Hmm, I don't think I have one single process. But always, photos form a key component. Sometimes it is the picture that inspires the writing, sometimes I'm inspired by an idea and go in search of the perfect picture to accompany the thought. I turn many ideas over in my head in the day and I try to scribble them down, either in a draft or in notes on my phone. I need to be in the right frame of mind for the words to flow, so sometimes it just doesn't happen. But if there's one thing I've learnt from my previous job as a lawyer, it is to just keep putting the words down. I write, then refine, rephrase and restructure as I go along. And it helps to have a deadline!

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Next up in this blog hop is Adeline from Growing with the Tans. Adeline is a mum to a lovely little boy who, like my son, is also named Noah. Do visit her next Monday to find out more about her blogging process.

Growing with the Tans

Bali, Hi

How sweet it is to be… on vacation.

Would you believe it's our first time back in Bali since we visited once in, erm, 2003. Then it was shortly after the Bali bombings, we stayed in Nusa Dua, and were harassed to death by touts everywhere. We left unimpressed.

This time, oh, it's been lovely.

It's back to my cocktails and milkshakes for me. Ciao!

* The kids have been kindly dressed by Fox Kids and Babies, who join us as a clothing sponsor for next few months. More on that -- and more clothes -- when I get back!

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Easter Thanksgiving

Today I am feeling thankful for...

… friends who willingly step up and pitch in. Who saw a need and filled it with their various talents to make our Easter Egg Hunt a truly collaborative effort.

… for happy faces and egg and spoon races. For games thoughtfully planned and sportingly undertaken.

… for eager little hands that hunted down eggs and filled up their baskets. 

… for moments shared and friendships made and strengthened. For the opportunity for our children to connect and share the same.

… for the one empty egg, that reminded us of that empty tomb, empty because Jesus arose from the dead and is alive forever more.

… for the wonderful redemptive work of Christ, and for God's grace, so unmerited but so richly given.

I had a wonderful Easter break and I hope you did too.

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Five Priorities This Christmas

Now that we're approaching end-November, there's a tingle in the air that, coupled with the wet weather around us, makes it clear that Christmas is coming!

Our tree is up and I'm looking forward to soaking in the festivities, reflecting on the year gone by and celebrating the reason for the season. Christmas is significantly more than just a  festive holiday to us as Christians and I appreciate the opportunity to turn our focus to the great gift we have been given with the birth of the Saviour. With this in mind, here are five words which encapsulate my priorities this Christmas season:

1. Teach

The children are of an age where they are both able to understand and get excited about Christmas, and it's important to me that they are excited about the right reasons, and not just the presents that they are going to get or the goodies that they are going to eat. Teaching the kids the Christmas story is something I'm greatly looking forward to. It's not that they don't know it. We've read the stories many times in their children's bible and Noey has certainly memorised chunks of it, thanks to the fact that his kindy year-end concert was on the nativity. But Christmas is always a good time to re-tell the tale and reinforce some truths. I've come across some good tips on this which I will be sharing next week.

2. Share

Of all the things we are called to share, surely it must be the sharing of the good news of Christ that is the most important. And what better time than this! I admit I often feel a bit hesitant to say anything for fear of imposing, but I've told myself that I must just start talking, for if everyone was like me, no one would hear.

It is also an opportunity to share with the less-fortunate in our midst, and we're looking forward to supporting The Boys' Brigade Share-A-Gift project again this year, as we did last year. They've started collecting donations at various NTUC Fairprice, Xtra and Finest outlets. Not all, so do check out the donation locations on their website and support this worthwhile cause. 

3. Love

All you need is love, they say. I think it'd be more so for me now when I have two children on my hands all day everyday for 6 weeks! More patience and love would go a long way, me thinks. Love too, for our neighbours and those around us. So I'm going to be enlisting the kids to write notes and make little gifts for friends and family, but also to spread a little cheer around to those we know and those we don't, as inspired by this little kindness adventure. I'm quite excited about that -- and the fact that it's a good excuse to get Noey to do some writing practice!

4. Reflect

Reflecting is much overlooked with our constant need - ok, my constant need - to be on the go. I admittedly don't stop to reflect often enough, but the end of the year is a good time to take stock, and be thankful for what we've been blessed with. And one great occasion we've found to do this is 冬至 (i.e. the Winter Solstice). Usually a few days before Christmas, it's a good time to sit down as a family and think about what we have to be thankful for. And yes, eat 汤圆! It's a little tradition we have and I'm looking forward to it again this year.

5. Give

Giving, I think, not just with our money but with our time and effort. Another way in which we will be supporting the Boys' Brigade Share-A-Gift project is by volunteering with friend to deliver the food hampers to the needy. I signed up last year but alas, the kids fell ill before then and we were not able to take part. So we're trying again this year.

We're also going to be participating in #GivingTuesdaySG, happening on December 3! A campaign to create a national day of giving at the start of the annual year-end holiday season, it celebrates and encourages charitable activities that support non-profit organisations. Not heard about it? Read more about it here. There are plenty of campaigns and initiatives by non-profits and corporates we'll be checking out to try to do our part.

And as an extra bonus, as one of my small ways of giving back, I'm also going to be doing a little giving right here in the form of some giveaways. Yes, starting this Tuesday, I'm going to be doing 4 GIVEAWAYS from now till Christmas, one for every week.

Some of these have been kindly sponsored by the wonderful retailers and business owners that I've been working with, but one will be sponsored by yours truly, to thank you all for being such wonderful readers and for supporting this blog. The truth is, I sacrifice a lot of sleep to write, since it's pretty much impossible to write anything meaningful while the kids are awake. But I do it because I genuinely enjoy it. I've always been the journalling kind and this space offers me the perfect outlet. I started out writing just for myself, but I met others and received so much in return. Not just Items and opportunities for my family, which I greatly appreciate, but more than that, friendships, especially with other Mums, both bloggers and readers. It's helped me keep my social circle vibrant even though I'm mostly stuck at home with two children, and I'm thankful for that. Who says you can't make good friends online huh!

So yes, I'm excited to be giving back and I hope you are! Do come back every week to see what we've got in store for you. (It's not huge -- sorry, not big enough a blog for that! -- but I hope to have a little something for everyone.)

And with all that, I think I'm ready for Christmas! 

 

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What's on My Fridge?

The fridge of a family to two young tots is different from our fridge as DINKS (double-income-no-kids). Gone are the ceramic magnets and fiddly souvenirs from our travels, all broken over time by itchy fingers. Instead, what you'll find are these: 

Magnets to play with while Mummy is in the kitchen, and a notepad on which to jot down a grocery list.

Invites! To parties and places. Reminders that put smiles on our faces. 

 Random pieces of art, earnestly and sometimes carelessly made.

Precious memories, stickgram-med.

Cryptic messages from busy little people.

Also timetables and school schedules, flyers for food deliveries and cards for home services.

Numbers to remember, a photo or two of a time long past.

And right up front, where little eyes can see, a note from Mummy to the kids, a virtual hug and a kiss and a promise to be home soon.

That's our fridge. 

(And if you're wondering how I have space for so much stuff on my fridge, it is really because I have two of them! Best decision ever.)

 

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A Boy and His Buds

We've not managed to do a lot since returning for London, what with jet lag, and now the haze impeding our adventures out of the house. But I'm glad we managed to drag ourselves out of the house for a playmate with some of Noey's school pals last week. Noey wasn't 100% after having a bit of a stomach flu a few days earlier, but he perked up when I told him we were going to meet his classmates. 

I just love this photo of them that another Mum took. I can almost see them as teenagers here! 

They had a whole lot of fun in the sun that morning. Buds are just so important, even if it's just for wielding sticks and screaming at trees together.

 

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(I know I it isn't really wordless, but that's the best wordy me can do!)

 

Sibling Playtime

They can be the best of friends, they can be the worst of friends.

I think that describes the relationship between my two kiddos. Now that they're old enough to play with each other, boy, do they squabble. Noey will have to have what Naomi is holding, and Naomi will snatch what Noey's using. Noey will insist that things be done just so but Naomi will (deliberately or otherwise) foil him. You know, the usual.

But once in a while they'll find something to play with together, and then magic happens.

I'm amazed the doll stroller didn't break under their weight! But those smiles? Totally priceless.

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From Diaper to Potty

An e-mail popped into my inbox about potty training recently so I thought I'd talk a bit about Naomi's potty training journey so far.

Frankly, the lazy Mum in me kind of groans when it's time to do this. Let's face it: diapers are really convenient albeit costly. Transitioning to the potty would save you money in the long run, but is messy and limiting. You've got to be ready at an instant to pop the kid on the pot, or that mess that I mentioned? That's what you'll be cleaning up. 

For this reason, I tend to delay potty training till I'm sure that both my child and I are ready. Yes, that's both of us.

I started popping Naomi occasionally on the potty at the start of the year, just before she turned 2, to get her used to the idea. Most of these attempts didn't yield much result -- something I fully expected. I only started getting more serious about it after her birthday. Off came her diapers during certain times of the day. She got wet a lot, but she progressed to knowing when to release, and in the past couple of weeks, I realised that she can now tell me accurately when she needs to pee. Only when the diapers are off though. When they are on, she might occasionally ask to pee in the potty but by and large she just goes in the diaper. We've made it through a number of days with only the occasional accident. Hurray! Poop-training is still a work in progress. 

We are not out of the woods yet, but I thought it might be fun to join Mama J's Friday Five linky with our tips for potty training so here are 5 pointers that we found useful in our potty training journey:

1. Make sure that you and your child are ready.

The experts always talk about child-readiness, and I think it is one of the biggest factors affecting the success or failure of your attempt to potty-train. Personally, I've found that 24 months is a good age to start. Some things I look out for include the child having the word for "pee" and "poop", and having the ability to communicate these. She should also be able to take instructions. I came across this Potty-Training Readiness Checklist (2-years) from BabyCentre which has a number of other behavioural characteristics that might be helpful.

Let's however not forget that potty-training is a combined parent-child effort. It can be a lot of work for the parent and you have to be prepared to put aside time to follow through for it to succeed. So don't pick a period of time when you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or just having your hands full. Delay it if necessary till you feel you are able to commit the time and effort to this and are up for the challenge. 

2. Just take their diapers off.

This was the advice of a Mum of 6 (yes, 6 kids!) no less, and after trying this on both of mine, I agree that taking off their diapers was really necessary to get them started on the potty-training journey. Kids need to feel wet and uncomfortable before they realise how their body works. They are just too dry and comfortable with their diapers on to care! If you dislike the mess, try cloth nappies with plastic pants to contain the mess. For training purposes, I don't think pull-ups are effective because they are just too similar to diapers, though they do come in handy for a child under training when you're both out of the house.

Once the diapers are off, you will also get a better sense of your child's rhythm. Like how soon she would need to use the potty after eating/drinking. This will help you plan potty times better. 

Of course, once they start getting wet, they might resist wanting to take their diapers off. Naomi now complains and gets teary when we want her to do diaper-free time. "I need my diaper! I like diapers!" she would wail. But I persist, because I know she can do it, and over time, she's learning that too.  

3. Be consistent.

Following from the above, I think once you decide to start potty training, common sense dictates that you should try to do this consistently over a period of time in order to train effectively. I tried to find a pocket of time everyday when I would be free to tend to Naomi, to watch her and attend to her cues while she does her diaper-free time. In the early stages, I would try to put her on the potty at intervals to get her comfortable with the idea and to see if I would actually get her to pee. I figured it would also get Naomi used the idea of using the potty, and help me understand when she needed to go.

Now that Naomi's gotten pretty good with peeing, I make her go without her diapers during two periods of in a day: immediately after her morning milk and immediately after her afternoon nap. She still complains but she's getting used it, and better too. Sometimes we have to go out and the diaper definitely goes back on, but I try not to let her get away with that too often.

4. Get a potty that is stable and easy to sit on.

Whether you choose to use a toilet seat placed over the toilet bowl or a stand-alone potty is a matter of preference. I think there are benefits and drawbacks to both. I prefer a stand alone potty because the child can get to it on her own and it's easier to sit comfortably, but you do have to wash it out every time. But whatever your choice, I think it helps to get a seat that your child is comfortable and feels secure with. There were a couple I bought because they, err, looked cute, but Noey didn't even like sitting on them, so that was that. The current model we've got was bought by my Mum, and the seat cover can be lifted off and placed over the toilet bowl to be used as a child seat if you so choose. I tried that with Naomi, but in the end it was much easier to use the potty. I think she also felt better when she was able to put both feet on the ground.

By the way, if you're wondering, I did train my son to pee sitting down first, but it wasn't difficult for him to transition eventually to standing to pee when he got older -- and tall enough to reach the toilet!

5. Heap on the praise! 

I think this requires no further explanation! And the proud smile that I get from Naomi when I praise her for remembering to use the potty? That's priceless.

 

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*I know it's no longer Friday but can we just pretend that I'm early for next week?

A 4-Year Old's Parenting Tips

Parenting, by my 4 year-old:

"Next time when I have kids, I will let them watch 10 (TV) programmes everyday!"

"I won't make my children eat real food. They will only eat SWEETS. But I will do what all adults do: Brush their teeth!"

"Next time when I grow up, when I have my own wife, I will have a Ferrari. No, I will have two Ferraris. And I will teach my children to drive. So I can go so fast!

"Do you know that I am going to let my children eat gummies for lunch and dinner? And I will not ask them to rest.

"My children will not have to do homework. They only have to play."

Oh Noey, I'm sure you'll be singing a different tune when you're a parent yourself!

"I think I'd make a rather good parent, don't you?"

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I'm A SAHM, Yes That's Me

I've been a Stay-At-Home-Mum (SAHM) for the past year. More like a year and half really, since I stopped work at the end of Oct 2011.

And yet, every time someone asks me what I do, my first instinct is to cite my previous job status and employment.

Don't get me wrong - I like being SAHM. It's having to deal with the reaction of others when they find out I'm a SAHM that I don't like.

I recently attended a birthday party where an old schoolmate asked me what I was doing. When I told her I haven't been working for more than a year, her eyes opened wide as she looked at me and asked, "So… you just drive them around all day?"

Ouch.

I felt compelled to tell her that I do some freelance work (which I've taken some teeny-tiny steps towards doing this year). But I was immediately a bit annoyed with myself for doing that. Should I really be judged by my economic value and output? My professional standing? The things I do outside the house? And why in the world did I reinforce that thinking with my response?

The sad fact is that the SAHM is not valued in our competitive, materialistic society. The government is constantly talking about bringing non-working mothers back into the workforce. I have friends asking me if I'm still being a tai-tai or whether I'm bored out of my mind and ready to go back to work. I have my parents looking anxiously over my shoulder, regularly asking whether I've decided on my next career move. I get the occasional comment about it being a waste of my education to stay at home.

It gets to me, for sure. And yet, I still choose -- at least for now -- to stay at home. Because I will miss the kids if I don't. But more because DD and I decided that these are our kids and it's our responsibility to raise them ourselves. This is especially since the hubby has a very intense job where he works long hours more often than not, so it appeared to us more important that one of us should spend more time with the children. That person is therefore me.

Truth is, I'm not always convinced that I'm the best person to raise my kids. I'm not very nurturing by nature, am quite a scatterbrain and I really suck at art & craft. I'm sure someone else would do a better job. But God gave them to me -- and me to them, poor kiddos -- so we've all just had to make to best of it.

I was happy working part-time, leaving the children with my parents on the days that I worked. But then a confluence of factors upset the happy balance: my dad went back to work and my mum felt she couldn't cope with two kids, my helper suddenly had to return home at short notice, my boss wanted me to go back to work full-time, my office moved to a much more inconvenient location. I volunteered to stop work to take charge of everything and have been home since.

It's been challenging on many levels. I've learnt patience like I never knew I had. I've learnt to enjoy hugs and give them out more freely. I've learnt to be more generous with praise and encouragement. I've dug deep and discovered a creative side to myself that I never knew existed. I'm still a push-over when it comes to discipline but I'm learning to have more of a backbone.

But it's also been rewarding in many ways. I'm grateful for the opportunity to do things, learn things with them, just because I'm there. So I relish the spontaneous walks in the park because we want to feed the ducks. The spur-of-the-moment dips in the pool, simply because it's hot. The moments we can spend ogling a huge furry caterpillar that walks across our path, or chasing birds in the courtyard. The teaching moments that happen often in a by-the-way fashion just because the opportunity presents itself. The ability to instantly correct, instruct and train. The occasion to model values that I want them to adopt. The time to teach them about God. Because I'm not busy having to squeeze every moment out of being with them, we can have our slow days, times when they just want to sit on Mummy and do their own thing. Just because I'm there.

And I thank God (and my dear husband) for the opportunity of letting me just BE THERE, for them.

What would make me choose full-time employment over being home with my young children?

I thought about this when reading the book Bringing Up Bebe and learning about the French creche system. I remember thinking that yes, if there was high-quality childcare with highly-trained professionals looking after the kids better than I could and serving them higher quality of food than I would serve at home, and all for free, then maybe it would make more sense for me to go back to work.

Since we don't have that, I guess it's up to me to fill those gaps by being Mummy.

One of my cheeky monsters, who makes life in interesting everyday.

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Cook: Tomato and Watermelon Salad

A recipe for the weekend!

This is a watermelon salad that I made as an add-on to the catered food at Naomi's party. I was glad that it was completely cleaned out - I dished out some of the last bits to DD before I packed the bowl away and it got his stamp of approval too. Then again, watermelon is his favourite fruit EVER, so maybe I shouldn't have been surprised!

I know that the classic pairing involves watermelon and feta cheese, but I'm one of those oddballs who isn't such a fan of feta. So I was very happy to chance upon this recipe which had tomatoes (Naomi's favourite), watermelon (DD's favourite) and avocado (something I really enjoy) instead. I made some modifications to the proportions and dressing an am sharing the recipe with the modifications below.

Tomato and Watermelon Salad (based on this recipe found on Food.com)
(serves 8-10)

Ingredients:

1 box of cherry tomatoes (approx. 250g), halved
1 small cucumber, seeded and cubed
¼ of a large seedless watermelon, cubed
2 avocados, cubed
1 handful of fresh mixed herbs (basil, tarragon, chives and cilantro), chopped
¼ teaspoon of coriander seeds, ground
3 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Method:

1. In a large bowl, combine the tomatoes, cucumber, watermelon, avocado, and herbs.

2. Add the ground coriander to the tomato mixture and toss gently.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, white wine vinegar, and salt and pepper to taste to create the dressing.

4. Pour the dressing over the tomato mixture and toss to coat evenly. Taste and adjust the seasoning before serving.

Cooking Notes:

♥ I've used white wine vinegar in the dressing instead of balsamic vinegar because it just turned everything black. I believe the ideal substitute would be white balsamic vinegar, except that I've only seen this once, at Cookyn class! Otherwise, I've not seen this at the shops! Do let me know if you find it!

"I Love You The Most!"

My dearest little son is a real Mummy's boy, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that he loves his Mama. 

"I love you, Mummy," he said with conviction one night some weeks back. "I love you the most."

"Oh, really!" I said, teasingly. "Do you mean that you love me more than Mei-mei loves me? Or that you love me more than you love Mei-mei?"

"I love you more than Mei-mei loves you," he said. "I love you THE MOST!"

"I don't know about that, Noey. Papa loves me too, and he loves me a lot," I countered.

"I love you more than Papa loves you, Mummy," he insisted. "I love you as high as 50 giraffes. Standing on top of each other. And I love Mei-mei as high as 60 brachiosaurus."

I laughingly told him that probably means that he loves Mei-mei more than he loves me. 

"Ok, I change yours to 102,000," he said.

For the record, 102,000 is the biggest number in Noey's mind, so to him, that's as much as he can contemplate!

I graciously accepted his little proclamation thereafter. 

My two little munchkins, it's Mummy and Papa here who love you THE MOST. Don't you forget that.

 

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Dessert: Chocolate Mousse

Naomi's birthday is next Saturday. Tick tock.

The venue has been booked and the invites sent but I've been dragging my feet about everything else! This week is when I really need to get cracking.

I'm toying with the idea of putting together a mini dessert table for the kids and one of the recipes I'm considering is this Dark Chocolate Mousse.



This was one of the recipes I learnt at a cooking class at ToTT and it really was as straight-forward as it was touted, though you do need to set aside time to let it set. It was yummy, and the kids? They loved it.



Dark Chocolate Mousse (by Chef Philppe Nouzillat of Taratata Bistrot)

Ingredients:

340g Dark Chocolate (70%), chopped
160ml Milk
2 Egg Yolks
8 Egg Whites
2 tablespoons Caster Sugar

Method:

1. Melt the chocolate over bain-marie (ie. in a bowl placed over a pot of boiling water). At the same time, warm your milk over the stove.

2. When the chocolate has melted, remove from stove and add milk and egg yolks. Stir to combine.

3. Whisk the egg whites and sugar together until stiff peaks form, then fold into chocolate carefully.

4. Transfer to storage, then chill till set. (Best to chill overnight.)

5. Serve and enjoy!

I made mine in little cups and decorated them on a whim with strawberry wedges, because I had them on hand, and also because there is just something about strawberries and chocolate isn't there?

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Balancing Out Twice the Joy

When we were expecting our second child, there were moments when I looked at my precious first born and wondered if it was possible to love another quite as much.

I now know that it is. That two children could more than fill your heart beyond its capacity for loving another. And yet, at the same time, I have come to realise that while there is twice the love to go around, there is but only half the time. And it's a constant struggle to keep the balance equal.

The truth is, I don't spend as much time with Naomi as I want to.

When Noey was a tot, I woke up every morning when he woke, changed nearly every diaper, and fed him every milk feed, and put him down for every nap when I was at home. When he moved to solids, DD and I alternated feeding him and reading to him during mealtimes. We also frequently gave him his baths.

With Naomi, a lot of these duties are taken care of by my helper. Especially in the mornings when I have to get Noey up, dressed, fed and ready for school, not to mention physically drive him to school (on time!) myself. They wake up around the same time and with limited time to make it out the door, I focus on Noey while leaving Naomi to my helper. And for the rest of the day? Noey is the one with the homework which I have to help him with, and the classes which I have to drive him to, so he ends up with more of my attention. Doesn't help that he's also naturally extremely sticky to me!

I'm working to shift the balance more by bringing Naomi out with me more often. I've also started trying to bring her regularly for walks -- just her and me. Sometimes we go in the morning after I've dropped Noey off in school and DD off at work, sometimes we go in the evening when Noey is having a class.

I've been enjoying it. She's at a stage when she's developing so fast cognitively and it's a joy to be able to engage her and hear what she has to say when she's not being drowned out by her bigger and louder brother. There are plenty of gems too.

Me: "Wow, look Meips! those are giant lily pads!"
Nomi: "No! Not lily pads!"
Me: "Then what do you think they are?"
Nomi: "Pies?"

Oh Meips, it's just like you to have food on your mind all the time! 

It's definitely twice the joy, having two around. I just have to find the right balance so that they both know it too.

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